Unwanted
by blueweaver
Summary: My first Sakura/itachi story. In which Sakura is captured by Itachi but will she ever be able to leave and live out her life happily in Konoha? I've posted this story before but edited it slight and split it up.
1. Chapter 1

After many requests to change this into a multi chap story, I finally have and while doing so I changed and few little things and fixed alot of mistakes that I came across. This was first written as one chap (I know, stupid of me but I wanted to post it so badly so I didn't break it down) so the begining and endings of the chaps might be a little off and I'm sorry about that. I think I'm going to write another chap or maybe a story that follows this but I'm not sure yet.

I hope you enjoy my story and feel free to give advice but down flame.

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What do you do when you have feelings for someone and they return your feelings, but you don't want to have feelings for them? How do you handle the situation, what do you say? These are the questions I find myself with, these are the very first things I think of when I wake up and the last thing before I try and sleep at night. Most people tell me to embrace my feelings, tell me not to fight them, that love is love and should be welcomed no matter who it is. I wish it was as simple as allowing myself to love him, as he has allowed himself to love me but in me allowing myself I hurt the very people who tell me to release my feelings.

This whole problem started a little more then a year ago, I was on a solo mission, an easy one to simply run a message to Suna. It was suppose to take about two weeks but I was attacked, I had dealt with all but two of my attackers when one of them released at jutsu I had never seen before. It was little more then a flash of light but that light caused me to go blind, I would have been killed if my savior hadn't happened to pop up out of no where. He took out the last two men and saved me, my chakra had been depleted at that point and I prominently passed out once my savior saved me.

I woke up three hours later, so he told me, in a bed but where I still couldn't tell you. My chakra had returned and the moment I was awake a began to examine my eyes, they were badly burnt, almost beyond my ability to fix. My other senses told me someone was in the room with me, a ninja but he had masked his chakra. I was scared but I buried my fear, telling myself that if he wanted me dead he wouldn't have saved me in the first place. I also knew that this person might have saved me because he wanted something, information on leaf, a bargaining chip for the Hokage or my skills as a medic, so I waited for him to say something, make his demands.

He didn't say anything, just sat somewhere across the room, maybe watching me or looking out a window, so I asked him. "What do you want with me?"

I heard him shift in his seat, turning towards me and I could feel his eyes on my face, he was studying me so I carefully buried my emotions. He made a small noise of discontent, clearly not pleased by my actions, I didn't care though, I still didn't know who he was, what he wanted or if he was going to do something to me. I wished I could've seen his face as I define him, of course at the time I didn't know who he was so I didn't know who I was defying. The silenced went on for some time, I was growing more and more uncomfortable, I couldn't see him, didn't know what he was thinking or who he was and he refused to answer me.

Just when I was going to break and repeat my question he answered, "I don't plan on harming you, I plan on watching over you till your eyes are healed."

I froze, I knew that voice, I knew him and besides being truly worried I was very confused because that voice belonged to Itachi. Why would he save me, let alone watch over me till I could see? How would that benefit him, he never did anything without good reason and yet he said he would watch over me? I could heal myself, of course, but it would take a few weeks at least.

"Why would the great Itachi watch over me?" I managed to keep the fear out of my voice but some how annoyance leaked in. I imagined him raising an eyebrow and giving me a slightly confused look, the thought seemed funny to me for some reason. Again I heard him move but this time he was moving closer to me and I was suddenly very aware of how I was sitting on a bed and how I had no idea what I was wearing. As I was trying to take stock of my clothing, only being able to tell that I was wearing clothes but having no idea what, I felt the bed sink, telling me he had sat next to me.

I felt myself go tense, much to my annoyance so I forced my shoulders to relax, trying to look like I didn't care what he was doing. Since I couldn't see anything I kept looking forward, ignoring how he leaned closer to me, "Because, once you've healed your eyes, I need your help with mine."

That explained a lot and that was also the beginning of our relationship. He had saved and kidnapped me to serve his own purpose, not that I expected anything less from him. We only stayed in the hotel room for two more nights, then we moved to another hotel, where we stayed for a week. I'm not sure what he told the lady at the front desk, how he explained why I never left the room or why we were sharing a room but no noises were ever heard. While we were at hotel number two, which I learn to call water inn, because I could hear water all the time, I managed to heal my eyes to the point to where I could see vague shapes and slight variations of colors, but couldn't see things or colors well enough to know where I was.

As the days past I got more and more worried that he would just kill me, since I clearly wouldn't be able to heal his eyes for at least another two weeks. Week two found me in a slightly better room then the previous week. I could hear people outside and smell food, I was even becoming use to feeling my way around the room and not simply run into things until I found what I needed. Week two also found me growing use to his presence, that bothered me and even though I always remembered who he was, sometimes I forgot what he'd done or why I should fear him. He only touched me when he had to lead me to a new room or out of the hotel and it was a very light touch on my shoulder and it would be removed the moment we arrived or it was no longer necessary to touch me. He rarely even spoke to me but he always brought me food and while he never gave me all my chakra back and I knew he kept an eye on me when I had most of my chakra, I wasn't scared of him.

I realized I wasn't scared of him in the middle of the second week. I was in the middle of healing my eyes, devoting all my attention to that task, when that stray thought entered my mind. It shocked me so much that I faltered with my chakra and over charged part of my eye, causing terrible pain that took almost twenty minutes to reside. The pain was bad enough that it rendered me immobile for the twenty minutes, during that time he moved rather closed to my position on the floor. When I came back to reality I realized he was leaning over me, I could make out his dark shape and his scent, as well as hear him breathing rather close to my face. I pulled away and I saw him do the same, his comment was, "Are you okay?"

Having just come out of a pain induced haze, I still wasn't thinking straight, so his comment about my health or more importantly my feelings, threw me for another loop. Taking a moment to make sure I wasn't imaging his comment or his still very close form, I answered, "Yes, it was only a minor mistake, no damage done other then pain." I was sitting up very straight, in order to hide the fact that my eyes still burned, but my eyes were still closed since I could hardly see and had become accustom to having them closed. My weakness was obvious, I could barely see, had little chakra and, if he decided I wasn't worth the wait, up against one of the strongest shinobi so I decided not to snap or use sarcasm.

"You should be more careful, both with your eyes and emotion, losing control or use of either would rendered you useless not only to me but to your village." That was the longest thing he'd said in the two and a half weeks I'd been with him. He didn't say it in a tone that was meant to harm or scare me, he said it in a tone I would have never thought him capable of, it wasn't tender but it wasn't harsh.

By three weeks, four days I could see as well as I'd ever be able to. Shapes were clear, sharp, just as before the attack but colors were wrong. Colors were blurred and dull, I also didn't see as many as before. Lighter colors looked white or beige and dark colors looked black or dark blue, you don't notice just how many colors you can see before you can no longer see them. It was a major shock but, besides missing the old brightness of my hair, I didn't mind it so much.

Of course he knew as soon as I could see again, what he didn't understand was that I didn't need to see to heal his eyes. Three weeks, fives days found me sitting across from him, my hands on his temples and slowly, with my eyes closed, streaming chakra into his eyes. He didn't seem to scared of me or what I was doing, after all I was streaming my chakra very close to his brain and I could've killed him rather quickly if I had wanted to. And maybe I should have, he was after all an S class criminal but I didn't, the thought didn't even occur to me till I was done for the day. His eyes had chakra burns, I told him not use activate his sharingan until I was finished healing him, his answer was a blank look and dark eyes looking into mine.

When I could see, my eyes were always on him, at first I told myself it was because I didn't trust him and that was true to an extent, but I also knew I was festinated by him. He was a murder, he had killed his own clan and even though I knew all the terrible things about him, I couldn't bring myself to believe he was evil or that he would hurt me. Anytime I didn't spend healing him or sleeping, I spent trying to force myself into fearing him or at least force myself out of not fearing him.

It wasn't until week five that I realized I hadn't heard any news of a search party for me or any news about my disappearance at all. I still didn't get outside much, but he did bring me things like the newspaper and I could see out of my window and I never saw any Leaf ninja around, Leaf ninja that should've been looking for me. While I still couldn't bring myself to fear him, I was becoming worried that I would never be found or would never escape him. As more days went by I stopped trying to make myself fear him and began thinking of escape, I couldn't stay with him forever and simply being here, with all my chakra and not trying to escape had to be a form of treason.

I only reflected on my thoughts of escape when he wasn't around, I don't know where he went but he left for a few hours everyday so I planed my escape then. I knew he still sensed my shift in demeanor, he knew I was becoming restless and wanted to leave. The day I had everything planed out, the day I would make my escape, I woke up in a new room, a new place but my door was opened this time.

It was some time it December, marking my third month with him. I wasn't sure of the exact date and I hadn't been since I woke up blind in some hotel room. Before I could see I marked days by when he brought me food, which he did twice a day but once I could see daylight I could tell days without him. I stood up hesitantly from my bed, noticing my medical pack and the few articles of clothing I had stacked on the dresser, I also saw another door and a window. I decided to explore my new room before leaving it, the closed door lead to a small bathroom and the window looked out onto woods, woods which were coated in snow and ice.

I shivered, I've always hated the cold weather, the ice and the snow, the way it soaked your clothes faster then rain and froze you to the bone, making the smallest movements painful. Turning back to my room I noted the clean, simplicity of it, clearly not a hotel room. The walls were an off white, the dresses and bed was made of a dark wood, contrasting greatly with the walls. There weren't any pictures or decorations, even the curtains lacked color as they matched the pale color of the walls. The doors were made of the same dark colored wood and it creaked a little when I pulled it open.

My room faced a living room, that was decorated just as plainly as my room. There was a small couch made of a cream colored material as well as two chairs, a dark coffee table and end tables. The floors were made of a dark wood, the walls were the same creamed color, however there were a few plants laying around. Most of them were simply greens, no flowers but I still liked the plants, they made the house less sterile looking. I carefully exited my room and walked towards the living room, once I was standing behind the couch I could see a small kitchen and dining room, a front and back door, some windows with the curtains closed and another door which I could only assume was another bedroom.

I couldn't sense another person but it was foolish to assume I was alone, after all I was still a hostage at that point. I could, however, since the chakra barrier that surrounded the house, distinctly telling me Itachi was still my captor, my chakra was also drained again. I sat on the couch and looked about the living room, there weren't any books or drawing materials, limiting my entertainment choices, the house was also very clean, I couldn't see any dust, dirt or even snow that might have blown when the door was open.

Since I was alone I started thinking of escape again but the barrier left me at a loss, without chakra I couldn't pass through it or disable it. From what I had seen the place was in the middle of the woods, not that I couldn't walk miles but the snow would leave a trail and the cold would greatly slow me down, not to mention I had no chakra or supplies. I would be basically a sitting duck, defenseless and a very easy target. I couldn't give up that easily, there had to be a way because I had to be running out of time, surely Itachi would do away with me once his eyes were healed and I was very close to being done healing him.

A pain in my stomach was the only thing that had drawn me out of my thoughts, I was hungry, for some odd reason that brought a smile to my face. I made my way into the kitchen, hoping that there would be food in it. To my eternal surprise it was a very well stocked kitchen, most of the food in the kitchen was the kind that you just needed to add water but in the refrigerator was a wealth of fresh foods. I smiled brightly, removing several different things in order to make myself something to eat. I had no idea if Itachi would be back anytime sooner but I figured I mine as well make enough for two, if he didn't show up then I'd have something to eat tomorrow.

It wasn't a complicated meal, stir fried chicken and vegetables, but no sooner then I'd pushed food onto a plate then I'd heard the door open. I walked hesitantly around the wall which separate the front door and kitchen, the sight I was greeted with was Itachi, slipping off his sandals and dusting the snow off his hair. The sight was comical to say the least because he looked more human then I'd ever known him to be, a giggle must have escaped me because his sharp black eyes locked with mine and I was reminded he was a killer and my captor. His gaze, however, wasn't menacing, it was curious. He raised an eyebrow at me before say in his calm voice that was laced the slightness bit with curiously, "You cooked?"

I wasn't sure how to answer or if I'd done something wrong, "Yes, was I not suppose to?" She hated having to ask him permission, like she was a child again and not a twenty-two year old ninja. She fought the urge to fidget under his gaze, she couldn't imagine why it would be bad that she had made dinner.

He shock his head, almost as if he couldn't believe she'd done that. "No, it was just unexpected." He walked into the kitchen, surveying the meal. He looked towards her, the faintness look of shock on his face, apparently he hadn't known I could cook. I stood awkwardly in the kitchen doorway, not sure what I should do as this was the first time we weren't in a hotel room together, the game had been changed so to speak. He motioned for me to come in as he moved to get another plate and silverware, I took my plate and stood awkwardly again, waiting for him to move. I hated this feeling, it was what I hated most about being prisoner, not being able to even sit and eat without worrying about offending him.

He must have picked up on my discomfort because he looked at me in a way he never had before and walked into the living room, sat on the sofa and began to eat. I followed him and sat on one of the chairs, eating as well, the house was silent, only the whistle of the wind breaking the silence. After a few minutes a soft clink of glass of wood brought my attention to him, he was watching me, "Do you have any questions?"

That was the most surprising thing he would ever ask me, once again I was thrown and had no idea how to respond. I looked at him through my lashes, trying to figure out if that was some kind of trick, my silence wasn't surprising, when we spoke to one another if often took both of us a few minutes to answer so I knew he didn't suspect me of anything. His gaze didn't hold the look of a mocking captor, but that of a man who meant what he said, although his look was never open, it had become less cold since my first glimpse of him.

I focused on making my voice confidant without being arrogant because even if I wasn't scared of him I had to show a certain amount of respect for the man that held my life in his hands. "Well...where are we?" Realizing what a stupid question that was I rephrased my question, "I mean, whose house is this?" I kept her gaze impassive, the same as his.

He smirked a little, "Mine, I own this house."

I froze, this was his home? He lived here, I was no longer on neutral ground, I was in the home of Uchiha Itachi, S class criminal. Once that fact sunk in I began to wonder why he brought me here, wouldn't it be smarter to keep me away from something so personal, I was, after all, his prisoner not a willing guest. I worked to keep my face blank but he somehow knew my train of thought, "I dislike hotels and questions were starting to be asked about you."

I gave a very small nod, understanding. I looked around the house with fresh eyes, no longer viewing it as I would a hotel but a home, and his home to top it off. "Okay." Silence stretched again, it wasn't uncomfortable at all it was just silence. At one point in time silence had made me uncomfortable, I hated it almost as much as I hated the cold but now silence was as natural as breathing. I could go days without talking and could sit in a room with him for hours without either of us speaking.

"I can begin healing you now if you'd like." It wasn't really a question because I knew what the answer would be. He gave the slightness of nod▓s and moved over on the couch enough for me to sit next to him. Once I sat next to him I felt my chakra return slowly, it still made me a little dizzy, to have chakra flowing through my system again, it always had and he waited patiently for the dizziness to pass. I flexed my fingers once before placing them lightly on his eyelids, the steady flow of chakra going to his burned retinas, encouraging healing and removing scare tissue. I couldn't heal his eyes directly because doing so would either heal him or cause damage that no one could heal. The first time I told him that he didn't believe me, probably thinking I was lying so he would release me. It had taken me three hours of explaining to show his why I could magically heal him.

After that he understood and allowed me to heal him in the only ways I could. Now he was maybe two weeks away from the best sight I could give him, the best sight anyone could give him. After thirty minutes of stimulating growth and removing scare tissue I stopped, not because of chakra limitations but because his eyes couldn't take anymore. He sighed and opened his eyes slowly and blinked a few times before focusing his eyes on me. It wasn't uncommon for him to do that but he didn't usually hold any surprise in his look.

I knew I hadn't done anything wrong, when I healed him my attention was always solely on what I was doing. It was then that I realized something, when I'd first began to heal him, his eyes were so badly hurt I wondered if I'd be able to heal him but I'd never asked how well he could see. His sight should have been better then mine by now but it would be better but how badly was his sight to start with, "What was your vision like before, Itachi?" I didn't see any sense in beating around the bush with him.

His eyes refocused on me, a little startled by the question and I thought I saw a hint of embarrassment flash across his eyes. He'd never hesitated to answer me before but I'd never dared to ask something that related to him before. He sighed, "My vision was limited to shapes and vague colors before your healing."

I hid my shock at that, how had he managed to save me? To look over me when he could barely see himself? I didn't voice my questions because they didn't matter now, all that mattered was me getting out alive. That thought startled me more then his comment, all I wanted to do was get out alive, no matter the cost to my village. It was then I remembered that I should have fought healing him, should have chosen death and not putting him back at his best. Guilt washed over me, how could I be doing this? Sure, he could kill me faster then I could blink since I no longer had access to my chakra but I should choose death instead of the treason I was performing now.

I placed my hands in my lap and kept my eyes on the kitchen window, the only one that wasn't shut off by blinds. It wasn't to late to hurt him, to damage his sight again, of course that would forfeit my life but it would be for my village. I thought over my life, my life before being prisoner, I'd had my share of boyfriends and lovers, I'd had great friends and teammates, people had loved me and I loved them. I wondered what they thought of my disappearance, did they think I went rouge? I hoped not, I didn't want to be remembered as a traitor.

I should have ended this before, I shouldn't have let myself heal him so much and I couldn't understand why I'd let myself heal him so much. I still wanted another option, I didn't want to die yet and for a reason I refused the dwell on, I didn't want to harm him, the reason I told myself was that he'd saved me and I shouldn't harm him out of respect of that. By the time I was brought back into the real world it was dark out, he was still sitting on the couch across from me and suddenly I didn't want to be near him. I did my best to slowly raise off the couch and bring our plates into the kitchen, placing them in the sink before moving back into the living room. His back was to me and I was grateful for that.

I stood for a moment to make sure none of my emotions leaked into my voice, "I'm going to sleep." He didn't respond to my comment so I walked into my room and shut the door, not surprised by the lack of a lock. I removed my clothes and pulled on my night pants and shirt and slipped under the blanket, I shouldn't have been able to drift into sleep so easily in the unfamiliar home of Uchiha Itachi, but I as asleep in ten minutes and I slept without tossing and turning and without nightmares.

When I woke, he was gone and that told me a number of things. The first being he didn't think I could escape or maybe that I wouldn't try. Another was that there was cause for him to leave again so there must be a town or something close by. I didn't know what he was doing and I probably never would but this gave me time to plan how I would harm him and maybe be able to get out alive or come up with another solution that didn't involve me dieing and him being harmed.

It had been years since I'd used my chakra to harm someone, my fighting skills were and probably always would be lacking because my main skill was healing. I could of course split the earth with a punch but that'd require me to have access to most of my chakra and I hadn't been granted that in months. I had basic fighting skills but those would be useless, I scanned my memory for a way to incapacitate someone for a time or hold power over them indefinitely.

One technique caught my attention, it was primarily used to ease the pain of people on the field when I didn't have access to pain medication, it gave me control of their nervous system and once I had access it required almost no chakra to maintain. The problem was I had never used it for longer then three days and I had to be able to control him for longer then that if I wanted to get away and make sure he'd never come after Konoha or Naruto, or me again. I would also have to gain access to that part of his brain without him noticing and stopping me, I wasn't sure how hard that would be because he was use to my chakra in his system so it could be rather easy.

My plan was set, I had to try and get out alive and I really didn't want to harm him because he'd never been more then helpful towards me. If I failed, well, I'd die but he would be harmed, my village would be a little safer and the people I should have put first would be just a little bit safer. When everything I could plan was, I needed a distraction, it was only midday and he never arrived before dinner, even when we were at hotels.

I rose and looked around, unsure of what I should do. It wasn't long before my mind reminded my about the dishes and that I could get started on dinner now and maybe make something that could simmer for the afternoon. I walked into the kitchen and sifted through the items, there was enough to make a lasagna. That would take at least two hours to prepare before putting it in the oven, then I could make something to going with it while it was backing.

My mind settled into the once familiar task of cooking, chopping, boiling, laying. I didn't everything meticulously, exaggerating the time it took. By the time I placed it in the oven it was around three in the after noon, dinner would be done around six so that left me three hours of free time. I wasn't hungry as I had been picking at the food while I was cooking it, my hands that were covered in various materials showed that. While I examined my hands I began to wonder when the last time I'd had a long bath or even a nice hot shower.

My bathroom lacked a tub but it did have a large glass door shower, which was better then the bathroom showers I'd been using. I turned the hot knob on as hot as I could go, waiting for steam to fill the room before turning it down slightly and adding cold water just the slightest bit. I striped and stepped into the shower, glad that the bathroom actually had scented soaps and not the harsh stuff I'd expected.

I washed my hair twice, scrubbed my body three times before existing the shower and wrapped a thin off-white towel around myself. When I wiped the steam off the mirror I was a little surprised at my reflection, I looked different, maybe older. I had only looked at my reflection once since he saved me, it was before my eyes were fully healed so the picture I had in my head was wrong. But the women that looked back at me had longer hair then I'd remembered, my skin was paler but since I could see colors I wasn't surprised but my eyes were harder, colder.

The ones I remembered from when I was home were happy, open so different from the eyes I was looking at now. I removed my focus from my reflection and placed it on my nails, they were chipped and dirty, I used this as another task to focus my attention. It only took a few minutes to make my hands the ones I remembered, I then glanced at my hair, I didn't like it long again. It only brushed my shoulders but it didn't suit me so I walked into my bedroom and took out the scissors that were kept in my medical bag. He'd almost removed them when he'd discovered them while searching my bags but I told him that they were necessary to cutting bandages, he'd just dropped them in the bag after that.

Now I used them to trim my hair, removing an inch from the ends and cutting shorter pieces to frame my face a little. I wasn't doing it to look pretty, I was doing it as a distraction, after all I could be dieing tonight and I didn't want to sit a fidget because then he'd surely pick up on my mood. When I was done there was pink locks laying in the sink, I quickly scraped them up and walked them into the kitchen, dropping them into the garbage bin. I checked the food, it still needed an hour but it was almost done, it was also to late to prepare anything else but I knew I could put my hands and head to use with finding something to wear.

My choices were limited, I only had three out fits. The one he'd saved me in, which was torn and bloodied, my night clothes and the outfit I woke up and found myself in my first day as his hostage. It was the only thing I really wore anymore but I decided to add some stitches from my other outfit, just to keep my hands busy. The outfit was long black pants that fit rather loosely and were a little long and a three-quartered length sleeve black shirt, it was tighter across my chest then I would have picked up for myself. I took the scissors back out and cut a V in the front of the shirt, making it a little looser, I stitched the V so it looked like it had been made there and not as if I'd just hacked a V there.

That took up twenty minutes of my time, I dressed slowly and brushed my hair before I walked back into the kitchen and pulled out two plates. I checked the food, it was finally done so I removed it and set it out to cool. I knew he'd be home soon so I tried to school my face into the impassive stare that become the norm for me. I pushed all the nervousness I felt to the back of my mind and simply focused on what I had to do. It wouldn't take more then a minute and I should be able to make the chakra stream thin enough for him not to notice.

Just as I'd cut into the food the door clicked, I wondered vaguely if he knew what I was doing and if he planed his arrival but I didn't dwell on it because it wouldn't matter after tonight and I'd done nothing worth suspicion today. When I heard his bare feet moving towards the kitchen I moved towards the door, he stopped when he saw me and stared. I ignored him and walked into the living and placed the food on the coffee table. I heard him following me and I watched as he ate, his eyes were focused on me and I didn't want to think about why.

He was about halfway done eating when he said, "You did something to your hair." It wasn't a question but I felt compelled to answer it.

"Yes, I trimmed it." He only nodded once before turning back to his meal, I wonder why he ate it so easily but I guess he knew there was nothing I could poison him with. Ten minutes of silence later and we were both done eating, I got up and took his dish and mine into the kitchen, his gaze lingered on my hands for a moment. When I came back out I sat on the couch and held my hands out. He turned towards me and closed his eyes, the chakra slowly came back to me and I fought the dizziness, once it had passed I laid my figures on his eyes. Slowly I threaded some chakra away from his eyes and into his nervous system, I numbed him a little so he wouldn't notice when he lost control of his limbs but he must have felt it before I could take control.

I found myself on my back, my chakra all but gone, his hands holding mine above my head and him hovering over me. I managed to keep a little chakra in his nervous system but his intense black eyes nearly made me lose all connection. He glared down at me, "Did you think it would be that easy?" his voice was not the one I'd become use to but a harsh sound, almost a growl.

I glared back at him, I wasn't going to be the timid little girl he'd grown accustomed to either. "No, but I still have a connection with you and if you force me out I'll tare you mind up." my voice wasn't as scary as his, it was quieter, more of a hiss. He chuckled above me. I could see what was running through his mind, he thought he could simply cut off my chakra and put himself back in power. It was my turn to laugh, which seemed to have surprised him because his eyes got sharper, "Even if you cut off my chakra I can tare you mind up before my chakra where▓s off."

He sighed, "It seems we are at an impasse then." He seemed amused for some reason, although anger greatly out weighed the amusement.

"I have a deal in mind, if you'd be inclined to listen." I said in a slightly more civil tone but with enough edge in it to draw his attention back to my eyes. Some small part of my mind knew that our current position and manner would look comical to anyone outside us. He was pinning me to the couch, his body pressing into mine, it would look and feel sexual if not for the glares we were sending one another and the threats coming out of our mouths, of course this also included the thoughts of how to kill the other with getting harmed in the process.

A few moments of tense silence followed before he answered me, just with the barest incline of his head. I took a deep breath before answering him, a bad idea because he was leaning far to close to me but I ignored the look in his eyes and said, "I finish healing you and you return me, unharmed, to Konoha and never bother my village again."

His face was blank, a look I'd come to know as surprise. I waited, it wasn't as if I could leave so I kept my gaze cool and my face bored because anger wouldn't work anymore, I had to be impassive. He moved in even closer, so his face was just inches from mine, I knew he was trying to make me uncomfortable, to make me break under the pressure. It wasn't as affective as he would've liked because I wasn't some blushing virgin, it was uncomfortable though because he was attractive, as much as I didn't want to admit it, and he was on top of me.

After three minutes of him just staring at me, I sighed and figured since I wasn't being polite anymore, I mine as well be rude. It wasn't as if he was being polite anyway, "Don't entice me to simply crash your system instead of playing nice."

He glared at me again, finally a response I understood. But his glare was short lived because he once again got that almost-laughing look in his eyes. I fought the urge to spit up at him, seeing as that would only end badly for me and he'd probably only find it amusing anyway. "That was my original plan. Not leaving your village alone but I hadn't planed on harming you until you attacked me. Now I can no longer trust you."

I got that sinking feeling in my stomach again, not unlike that of when I first heard his voice. Something else didn't sit right with me though, he said he couldn't trust me now, implying that he had trusted me? That was foolish, I was his captive not his maid or personal healer. He must have picked up on what he said because he got that blank look again, I had to think of a way to turn that against him because now I'd given him reason to kill me and I still didn't want to die. I mentally slapped myself, I had to get my resolve back, the one that said I hurt him or die trying.

My chakra was weak, he'd cut off most of it but I had enough to hurt him, so that's what I would do. He still had that blank look, but his grip on my hands had tightened and his weight pressed on me even more, preventing me from moving, unfortunately for him I didn't need to move in order to hurt him. I forced most of my chakra out of my body and into his mind, it wasn't a lot but it was enough to render him immobile. I felt him go lax before he collapsed on me.

Moving out from under him I sighed and said, "Your first mistake was trusting me anyway, Itachi." I didn't stay and wonder about how easy it had been to escape. I ran to my room and grabbed my medical bad and change of clothes, I needed weapons so I hesitantly moved back towards him. I knew he had weapons on him so I rolled him onto his back, he glared at me, not surprisingly seeing as he was putty under my hands. I removed his weapons pouch and strapped it around my waist, I didn't look as I turned around a left.


	2. Chapter 2

I had almost no chakra, not enough to run at full speed but I had enough strength to run at a normal civilian pace. I didn't look back and I had no idea which way anything was, so I ran west, because the forest looked less dense that way. I only got maybe three miles before I had to stop, I couldn't run or even walk anymore, it was cold and it was starting to snow. I slumped under a tree, breathing heavily and hoping with every fiber of my being that he was still paralyzed. I hoped my chakra would return soon because my tracks in the snow would take hours to fill in, not that it would matter once they had, Itachi was a skilled tracker.

As tired as I was, I couldn't sit still for longer then a few minutes but I couldn't run anymore so I walked, hoping I'd come across a town soon. The still woods offered no distraction from my thoughts so I had no distraction from one nagging thought which was that I knew I should have killed him while he was paralyzed and I had weapons, it would've been fast, a quick slice across the throat or a snap of his neck but I couldn't bring myself to do it. My steps slowed, it wasn't long before I began to wonder why I couldn't kill him, after all he'd killed many people. It had to go past gratitude, after all he had held me prisoner for months so I should've been angry with him, not regretful that I'd left him defenseless and laying on a couch.

I stopped, how could I even think that? I should be relieved that'd I'd escaped but I didn't feel that way, I couldn't really decide how I felt. I made myself walk again, one foot in front of the other, my thoughts went around the same things for the hours that I walked. I eventually found myself in a very small town, it had only a few buildings in the town center and a very crummy inn but it was my only choice so I took it. The old man behind the desk was sympathetic to my situation and allowed me to stay one night without pay, I smiled tiredly at him and said I could find a way to pay him in the morning if he liked, he just smiled at me and said it wouldn't do him any harm to allow one lady a free night.

Once I was inside the room and locked the door and went instantly to the window, to try and figure out where I was. The window looked out the side of the inn, showing a few buildings that looked old and beyond those, more tree's. I couldn't see a path into the woods but I was sure there had to be a road to somewhere, not that I could take it because if he wanted to take revenge on me I was sure that would be the first place he'd look. I just wanted to find out where I was and in which direction Konoha was in or even a larger city that would surely have Leaf ninja looking for me.

I feel asleep on the small bed a few minutes later and I slept fitfully for the first time in six weeks. I woke, still tired, a little after sunrise, I grabbed my bag and headed back towards the front desk, intent on finding my way to the largest village around. Some of my chakra had return, the block he'd put on it must have weaken and I didn't stop to wonder why it had, I was just grateful I had some of my chakra back, chakra I could use to run. I rang the little bell that was sitting on the desk and waited for the old man to come and greet me.

A few minutes later he showed up, he smiled and asked how I had slept, I lied and said I had slept wonderfully, he had given me a free room for the night and he didn't need to hear my troubles. "Are you sure there is no way I could repay you?" I asked, smiling brightly at him.

"No, no, I have plenty of free rooms. We only get the occasional visitor around here, is there anything else I could help you with?" He had a wheezy voice that was a little hard to understand but I kept the pleasant smile on my face.

Of course there were a few things I needed to ask, but I wasn't sure how much to ask him because Itachi could always follow my steps and ask him if he'd seen a pink haired girl come through. I thought for a moment and it didn't take long to come up with a way to stop this man from answering any questions Itachi might have for him. "Sir, I do have a request and I do have a question or two, if you wouldn't mind answering." I gave my most innocent smile, slipping into the role of a helpless female.

He smiled and said encouragingly, "Not at all, please ask."

I lowered my eyes, in a way that would make it look like I was ashamed or scared, both worked to my advantage. "Well, my boyfriend and I had a rather rough brake up and I left. Unfortunately we were on a trip and I don't know where I am. I was hoping that if a tall, dark haired man comes asking after me, that you'd say I wasn't here. I was also wondering if you knew the way to the nearest city?" I tugged at my fingers, in a way I'd seen Hinata do as a child, tiring very hard to look helpless and frightened.

His eyes lost the happiness and his smile fell from his lips before he said, "You young people and your affairs, they never end well. But yes I won't tell this man you stopped here. The largest town is almost twenty miles west from here, there is a path." He gave me an appraising glance before saying, "I don't like the thought of you, a young women traveling alone. Perhaps I could find some one to escort you."

I was against that, I couldn't be slowed by some civilian, I wanted to run like a ninja, over tree branches and faster then the normal eye could catch. I cursed the fact that I pulled off the defenseless girl so well but I could maybe work this in my advantage again. I looked at him again before saying, "Actually, have you seen any ninja around or in any in the other city?"

He seemed confused at my question but he answered me in a hesitant voice, "There aren't any ninja in the other village, other then the few that travel through. This village hasn't seen ninja in years. Why would a young lady ask about the harsh world of shinobi?"

I smiled and said, "Oh, when I was traveling I heard a rumor about...leaf?" I played stupid, placing a finger on my lip and tilting me head to the side, "Yes, Leaf ninja searching for someone? I was just curious if you'd heard anything? And was curious if a ninja could escort me, they'd be able to protect me..." I little a little awe leak into my voice, hoping beyound hope that he'd say leaf ninja had passed through a near by village resently.

He seemed pleased by my answer, probably thinking I was some small town girl in love with the heroic idea of a lost girl being searched for by strong ninja. I kept my eyes wide and tried to keep a excited look in my eye, like a child would look when hearing a fairy tale, or so I hoped. Unfortunately he said he hadn't heard anything but since the village was so small he rarely got news about the activities of ninjas. I schooled my expression into that of disappointment, which wasn't hard since I'd been hoping he'd say something about my search party, so I thanked him again and made my way out of the inn and in the direction on the road he'd pointed to. Very pleased with myself for distracting him about my escort.

Before I left the inn I removed my cloak from my bag a securely tucked my hair under the hood, to make sure no one else would notice me I stuck the shadows. Strangers would be remembered so I was very glad that I didn't see any other people out at this early hour, once I was a mile out of town I took off, leaping over branches and curving off the path just a little but keeping my bearings west, towards the city.

My chakra thankfully lasted until I reach the out skirts of the town, I didn't need to rent a room, I just needed information on how to reach Konoha and maybe some supplies. Money was my only real concern, I hoped my feminine whiles would get me the information I needed without drawing to much attention to myself. Once the village was insight, I felt relief flood through my system, it was big enough for a stranger to go unnoticed but once again my hair posed a problem. I had a little chakra left, I could use a weak technique and change my hair color to a soft brown, if I did that though, I wouldn't have enough to sense Itachi if he got close but maybe I could hide well enough by masking my chakra so that he wouldn't notice me if he passed through. I cursed under my breath, angry that I hadn't slowed down and saved some chakra for this, but I really had no other choice, I had to change my hair and hope that he wouldn't find me.

I took my weapons out of my belt and stowed them in my bag, hoping none of the villagers would be able to tell that the belt was meant to hold weapons. My clothes were strange but I couldn't do anything about that so I made sure to keep my eyes lowered but not show to much weakness. It didn't take long for me to find a local tavern and, with a few bats if my eye lashes, entice a few drinks out of the local men. Eventually I found one who seemed to take delight in frightening me with stories of ninjas and great battles.

He wasn't a ninja, but he was versed enough in the comings and goings of ninjas for me to ask, with a coy look and a frighten voice, "So, have you seen any ninjas around here lately?" He was engrossed in the role I was playing, Naruto had once said I was a terrible actress, but this man didn't seem to know that or maybe he thought I was going to put out after a few more drinks, sadly enough for him I could hold my alcohol better then most men could.

He laughed and said, "Don't worry, sweetheart, I've only seen the occasional one pass by on their ways back home." That wasn't what I wanted to hear, this village was large and I remembered the inn as the last one Itachi had kept me in. My friends should have tracked me here or somewhere close to it by now. I decided to ask again, but rephrase my question a little, "No...packs of them have come through? I heard they hunt people..it would be so scary to run into a pack of them." I had dropped my voice into a whisper.

He laughed again and pulled me close enough that I could smell the drink and smoke on his clothes, I didn't like how low his hand was dipping on my back but I didn't say anything. He said in a loud laugh, "No! My dear, there are none in this village and I haven't heard of any of them being in any of the surrounding towns either." His lips dipped to my ear as he said that. I knew he wouldn't lie to me about this, he seemed to like playing hero and if there was shinobi around here then he'd take to the roll of protecting me from them.

I fought the urge to recoil from him, I had to keep my act up just a little longer, after all, I needed some supplies. I kissed just below his ear, not focusing very hard on what I doing, I said in the lowest most sultry voice I could, "Why don't we head back to your place?" That was all it took to make him place his hand around my waist and pull me down a few streets and into a small apartment. The moment he closed his door, I pressed the pressure point that would knock him out, not letting him get any closer to me. Once he'd dropped to the ground I reached into his pocket and removed his wallet, I hated to reduce myself to such pettiness but I had no choice. He didn't have a lot of money but it was enough for two nights in a crummy hotel and maybe a meal or two, but since he'd be out for the rest of the night I didn't see anything wrong with eating the only apple he had and stealing a few pieces of jerky I found in his cupboard. Typical men to have nothing but dried meat and old left-overs in their kitchens.

I couldn't leave him in the hallway, so I moved him to the living room floor, removed his shirt and pants, tilted a few pictures and knocked some things over, I also smeared some lipstick on his lips and neck. When he woke up with a massive hangover, he'd think he goten lucky and probably think he'd spent all his money getting the girl drunk the night before, he looked like the type who'd done it before. I walked quickly out of his apartment building and back to the main road, I needed to find the route to Konoha or another large village who might have heard about my search party.

I walked to the edge of the town and found a run down looking inn, happily for me, this one had a map hanging on the wall. It was an old map, faded and stained but the villages hadn't changed so it was relatively easy to find Konoha, finding the little village I was currently standing in, however, was harder. After ten minutes of staring at the map, I gave up and walked over the man behind the desk and asked the name of the town.

He looked at me oddly before I clarified, "I'm not from around here, I'm on my way to visit some family, and I just wondering how much further I had." He gave me a strange look before walking around the corner and pointed to a village I hadn't even noticed before, it was almost two hundred miles from Konoha. I barely contained my first instinct, which was to curse in a way that the proper lady I was pretending to be never would, instead I nodded my thanks and walked quickly to my room before the man could question me.

Once my door was closed I sunk to the floor, I couldn't believe he'd managed to get me so far away, every hotel move must have been further and further away. Of course if I had all my chakra the trip would only take a day or so but since I couldn't risk staying in one town long enough to regain it all, I'd be leaving with less then half my chakra which meant it'd take a three or four days. I raked my fingers through my hair, resigning myself to the next few days that would be filled with running, hiding, staying in dirty inns and stealing. I felt cowardly, running like a rat from dirty inn to dirty inn, stealing to pay for the inns and probably hiding in the shadows but I didn't have another choice.

I slept fitfully again that night, well I didn't really sleep, I tossed and turned and I woke up before dawn in a cold sweat. Once I woke up, I couldn't get back to sleep, my heart was racing and I felt as if I was being watched but I could detect any chakra signature and when I looked out my window I didn't see anyone. I left shortly after I looked out my window, I didn't know if I was being paranoid or if he was catching up to me, the temporary paralysis should have worn off recently and it wouldn't be crazy to think he'd caught up, he had all his chakra and was at least Anbu level.

I found myself running through the forest at a pace faster then I thought possible. I ran straight through lunch and only stopped when the next village came into view, but I didn't run straight to the inn like I had thought I would, I instead found myself staring at the buildings and wondering if I should go in. If I went into the village people would see a stranger, even if I didn't have my pink hair I'd still be a stranger in a village that didn't get many of those but if I stayed outside of the village I wouldn't have the protection of people. I knew Itachi, he wouldn't harm people just to take revenge out on me, so if I stayed outside the village he wouldn't have any reason not to kill me in a loud and very painful way. This was the smallest town I'd seen, a few buildings with what looked like apartments above them and a few people wandering home to their dinners, they'd notice me right away, the gossip of a stranger would spread in minutes in a town this small but I had no other choice but to go in and spread the same lie I'd told the first man, if i had no other choice.

I walked into the village and found the dirty inn, I then bought a room for the night and went to the local bar to find some poor unsuspecting guy to steal from. The guy I found wasn't at all like the last one, he was attractive and actually kind of funny. His dark hair and eyes attracted me to him and my flirtatious glances and coy smile brought him to me. He answered my questions the same as the last guy, no news of my search party but instead of grabbing my ass and licking my ear, he kissed me in a very heated way. What surprised me was that I returned the kiss, I wound my hands in his hair and he pulled me into his lap, I didn't mind very much. I'd never really had one night stands but it felt so good, so librating to just kiss someone without worrying about seeing them ever again.

When the kiss paused, simply for a breath of air, he whispered against my neck, "My place?" My answer was another heated kiss, which only ended because I pulled away and dragged him into the alley. His hands had just slipped under shirt and were slowly creeping up my sides when he was rather violently pulled off me. The first thing I thought of was that is was freezing outside without someone else▓s heat warming me, the next was how angry I was that someone had interfered with us and the third was that the guy was on the ground and a very angry Itachi was glaring at him, even though he was knocked out and laying on the ground. I didn't stop to think about why I wasn't dead or anything else, I just ran.

I took off down the street at a speed that I knew was attracting attention from the civilians, but all I could think of was getting away. I didn't even get outside the town before my chakra forced me to slow to a normal pace. I knew I wouldn't be able to avoid him at such a slow pace but I hoped that since my chakra was low and that I'd masked it, that he wouldn't find me. I wished I hadn't left my pack at the inn, it had my money and supplies but I wasn't about to risk going back to the inn, I also knew that I wouldn't make it very far out of the town before he caught me so once again I only had one option, to find another bar and sink into a dark corner and pray he'd think I left the village. It didn't take me long to find one, it was packed, which worked for me, I found an empty booth and slumped.

It wasn't until I'd stopped moving that I realized he should've caught me before I even got out of the alley. He also should have grabbed me the moment the guy was off me, he shouldn't have glared at him liked he'd done something wrong. My eyes stayed glued to the door, praying I didn't see him come in and also looking for another guy to hind behind. My heart was still pounding and I realized I probably looked terrified, not the kind of girl anyone would want to approach so I worked to control my emotions, burying the fear and bringing out the excitement I had felt at my almost one night stand. Even though I was still on alert, my mind went back to that feeling of freedom, of total abandonment. I could have never done that in Konoha, it would've been all over town the next day and my friends would never let me live it down, because at home I was not the kind of girl who did that.

I hated that about Konoha, the gossip and stereo type that people had labeled me with, everyone thought I was some goodie goodie who always followed the rules and had a crush on Susake. Maybe all my time away from that had changed me or maybe it had only brought it out of me, either way I knew I wasn't that girl anymore but I had to go back to being that girl, what else could I do? I suddenly felt cold, almost trapped but I pushed that aside, all I had to do was find some guy who wouldn't hesitant to take me to his house where I could stay safely for the night.

It wasn't hard and no sooner had the guy, whose name I hadn't even bothered to learn, took me to his house and I had him knocked about before the door was shut. I was relieved that I didn't have to sleep with him, I just wasn't in the mood for that now, I stole some money from his wallet and grabbed something to eat, I also slept fitfully on his couch for a few hours before I left. It felt strange to sleep on his couch with him past out on the floor but I didn't much care, when I woke up I calmly walked to the inn with my belongings still sitting right where I left them. I grabbed them without looking before I ran out of the village, I was only hundered or so miles away and if I killed myself I might be able to make it to Konoha's borders before sunrise tomorrow.

So I ran and I kept running, I didn't stop for lunch and I didn't stop for dinner. When I didn't have enough chakra to run at ninja speed I ran at normal pace, I didn't even pause at the little village, my only thoughts were of getting to Konoha. It was about eight at night when I had to stop, I collapsed under a tree in the snow when I couldn't find the strength to walk anymore. I instantly started cursing at myself for not stopping, even if I had only stopped for a few hours, but I hadn't because I'd let my fear of being caught out rule my smarter instincts. Now I was defenseless, sitting under a tree, in the dark and freezing. Of course it wasn't long before I fell asleep, some vague part of my mind told me I'd probably freeze to death but I couldn't stop myself of slipping into unconsciousness. My last thought was that atleast I wasn't going to die as Itachi's captive and Konoha would never have to know of my betrayel.

I woke up, warm, dry and most importantly alive. It took me a few moments to remember that I'd passed out in the snow and freezing to death, not on a bed with a blanket tucked under my chin. When I opened my eyes I was met with a blank wall of a hotel, I hoped that some kindly people had been traveling and had found me, saved me and brought me to a hotel but the rational part of my mind told me that probably wasn't true. I pushed myself into a sitting position and I saw the only person I didn't want to see, Itachi, who was sitting calmly and watching me with eyes that showed the barest hint of relief, which startled me.

I wasn't scared, I really should have been but I wasn't, I knew he'd be the one to find me, after all no one else would be running through the words after dark. He was watching me but he wasn't glaring at me, like I thought he would be, I had left him immobile on a couch but the only look I could discern was relief and I didn't understand that. We sat there, watching each other, for more then ten minutes before he spoke, "That was foolish of you." he said that in a very bland voice.

I had to work very hard to keep the shock off my face, that wasn't at all what I'd expected but he always surprised me. I glared at him before I said in an annoyed, "My second mistake then." I didn't like the fact that I was sitting on a bed, not only did it remind me of our first meeting but it made me feel vulnerable. I shifted, turning towards him and placing my feet on the ground, had I been alone I would have hissed at the cold but I wasn't about to show anymore weakness to him.

His eyes swept over my body and I was suddenly very aware that I was no longer wearing the black outfit I had on when I passed out. I couldn't look down and see what I was wearing so I focused on where my skin felt cloth, I could still feel my bindings and underwear, which had relief flowing through me stronger then it should have but on top of them I had some sort of dress on. It was thin and reached mid thigh as I sat, there weren't any sleeves but it wasn't cut very low.

I was freezing, the stupid dress didn't help me retain any of my body heat and Itachi's eyes roaming over my body had me fighting the urge to either shift or blush. He got up and walked over to me, stopping when he was less then a foot away, he dropped into a crouch so our eyes were almost even, I had to look down slightly to meet his gaze directly, I had no idea what he wanted from me but the tension that had been building seemed to double.

His hands were laying across his knees but it felt like he was restraining himself from touching me. His eyes stayed locked on mine as he said, "Second? I believe this was my second your first." He smirked at me.

Again, he confused me. He never spoke unless necessary yet here he was, talking and joking with me. I figured if he wasn't playing by the old rules then I shouldn't either, part of my mind was saying run, run away and get back to Konoha, get away from him. The other part was saying he'd catch me, he was close and even if I managed to get out of the room he would still catch me, even though I had full chakra I knew I wasn't a match for him. So I leaned forward and said, "No, I had a first mistake, probably more but I'm only counting two."

I smirked at him, watching his reaction, I had become very good at seeing emotions in his eyes and in his body language so I watched and waited for a reaction. He seemed amused and maybe a little pleased, at what I didn't know but that▓s what I saw, I had more of a problem with the amusement, why did he find me amusing? It also looked like he was waiting for me to say something else, but I wasn't about to say more, mostly because I had spoken last but another reason was I wasn't sure what we were doing. I knew he could be toying with me, luring me into a false since of security before slitting my throat. I didn't see the point in dwelling on that thought, if he wanted me dead I probably wouldn't be able to stop him, I could hurt him though and if he attacked me I planed on hurting him.

He sighed and said, "That was a very useful trick you used on me, I've never seen someone paralyze someone else so quickly and only using chakra." That sounded dangerously close to a complement. The tension was still growing and our close proximity didn't seem to be helping at all, I was getting very sick of this weird game we were playing. But that didn't mean I shouldn't play the game for just a little while longer.

I put on a sickly sweet smile and said in a sarcastic voice, "Thanks. So are you going to tell me why you've taken me hostage, again, and not killed me?" I kept my overly sweet smile on my lips, it seemed to be working because his lips pulled into a thin line and his eyes got a tint of confusion. I knew it wasn't smart to be irritating him, let alone be inquiring after my own state of life to the very man who was most likely to kill me. For the first time since he'd walked over to me, his eyes left mine and focused on my lips and the tension increased and I realized it wasn't the kind of tension that would grow between a hostage and captor, it was sexual tension and it was very strong.

My clenched the sheets on the edge of the bed, I was angry at myself for feeling that kind of tension between us but more then angry I felt intrigued. That had to be my third mistake, I should feel nothing but anger and hate towards him, not attraction but I felt it anyway and I vaguely wondered what it'd be like to kiss him, touch him and I shouldn't have wondered that because now I also had to focus on keeping my blush from coming to my cheeks. His eyes went back to mine and he looked angry, for the first time since I'd woken up, he looked angry with me.

I shrunk back onto the bed a little and before I could blink he had pined me to the wall, I was momentarily grateful that it wasn't the bed but either way I was trapped. He was leaning over the bed, his head bent but he wasn't as tense as he had been before. My back was pressed against the wall, my hands were clenching at the sheets and his hands where on either side of my shoulds, his head bent before mine but I still wasn't scared of him, I was startled at his sudden movement but I still couldn't bring myself to fear him.

I knew it was stupid and that I probably should keep quiet at a moment like this but instead I spoke up, saying in a softer voice then I had planned on, "Ita-" Was all I managed to get out before his finger pressed against my lips. He was looking in my eyes again, this time it was like he was looking for an answer he expected me to hold but I had no idea what that would be.

He sighed and said, "Your like a poison, I'm sure you know that, after all I've heard you've infected many of the men in Konoha. Not to mention one man in every village you've stopped in." He glared as he said that last part, I still didn't know what he was talking about, he wasn't making any sense to me and it wasn't like him to talk in circles. He shock his head, maybe at my slowness or whatever it was he was talking about, either way I just sat there, watching him and wondering if he was going to keep his finger over my lips until he was done talking.

He didn't look angry when he spoke again but he wasn't amused, "Your still not scared. You never were even though you should have been terrified." So he'd noticed my lack of fear, I wasn't sure why he cared so much, maybe it was an ego thing but no matter the reason it seemed to bother him. "You even had the courage to talk to me, question me, people who don't even know who I am shrink away from me when I walk into bars, but even now your not cowering." His lips press against mine, his finger was still on my lips and he didn't remove it as he kissed me. It was barely more then his lips pressing against mine but that didn't stop the tension from increasing to a point until I felt like it was going to crush me.

I kept my hands very firmly at my sides, it was hard not to reach over and pull him against me. When he finally pulled away I found myself breathing heavily, even though the kiss was one my mother had given me when I was a child. He removed his hand from my lips and placed it back on the wall next to my head, now he seemed to be bracing himself not pinning me.

He wasn't looking at me anymore, his head was bent and his eyes were still closed, "How did you make me trust you without me realizing I did? How did you get under my skin and make me care what happens to you?" He sounded strained, but when he looked at me he his eyes were clear, they weren't exactly open but it didn't look like he was hiding from me.

I said, "Why did I never fear you? Why couldn't I bring myself to hurt you? I think we have the same problem." The tension was still there but it wasn't as strong and I realized that this, whatever it was between us, was as close as either of us would get to admitting feelings for one another. I saw him freeze and I felt myself go very still, I guessed he realized what I just did, that I had felt something for him and that he probably felt something for me. It was way to weird for me to focus on what was happening, or even to really think about the fact the a missing nin liked me and I was pretty sure I liked him, it sounded so childish to me but I doubted he felt anything stronger then lust and maybe a tint of attraction.

He smirked after a few minutes of what was becoming uncomfortable silence and he moved very slowly towards me, stopping when his lips were antagonizing close to mine and he said in a low voice and had my heart pounding, "You have the strength to run back. I won't follow you, if you leave. Perhaps it would be better if you leave." I could feel his breath fanning across my cheeks and his body heating mixing with mine.

I thought about what he said, it wasn't exactly what I wanted to here and it made me question what I had been planning on doing. Konoha hadn't sent a search party out for me, and he'd saved my life twice. He'd taken care of me for months, he'd never harmed me even though he had every opportunitie to so maybe I wasn't as crazy as I thought I was for wanting to care for him and for wanting him to care for me. It only took me a few seconds to come to my conclusion and I didn't think Itachi was the kind of guy who'd be gentle so when I kissed him, it wasn't gentle.

He also wasn't very gentle when he shoved me onto the bed and I didn't really care, most of the guys I was with treated me like a glass doll but judging from the way he was trying to rip my dress of, I doubted he would treat me like a fragile girl. Once he'd relieved me of my dress he went right to my bindings, I glared, he was still fully clothed and that wasn't far. So I flipped us so I was stranding him, he looked surprised before he smirked and I returned the gesture and leaned down to kissed him.

I lived happily with him for two months, we lived in his house, and took little jobs. Of course I had to hide my identity when we went out, I kept my hair a light brown so I wouldn't have to change my eyes or skin tone, no one had to learn our names because we never stayed in one place very long. I would never refer to Itachi and soft or gentle, but he did show a certain level of affection towards me, never anything romantic but smaller things like, he would hold me on the couch or kiss me without the intent of getting me to bed, although we almost always ended up in bed. He would also give me this look when he thought I wouldn't notice, it was the closest to soft he'd ever come and when I saw him give me that look I had to smile to myself.

Of course all good things come to an end, it was near the end of our third month together when I began to miss my old friends in Konoha, my old life and more then anything else I missed healing people. I wondered what my old friends were thinking, if they were still looking for me or if they had ever started looking for me, did they think I was dead? I was crushed with guilt, what if all my old friends thought I was dead? Naruto would have been crushed, Tsunade would've been devastated and she drank to much before I left, what about my students? They needed me to teach them, to guild them through all the tricky medical procedures that no one else understood. How many people had died because I wasn't there to heal them, I wasn't being arrogant, I had the best chakra control and knew things that most people couldn't even begin understand, I'd saved many lives that would've been lost had I not been there.

He was out on a mission the day I decided to leave, I couldn't keep ignoring how badly I wanted to go back to Konoha, to show my former friends that I was alive and to save people again. The decision hurt, it hurt me more then I thought possible, I couldn't cry though, I wouldn't let myself because this was my choice and I didn't deserve to cry. So I packed my clothes and supplies, I dressed in my traveling clothes and even though I was ready to leave, I couldn't go without saying goodbye. I put my bags by the door and sat on the couch, I had brought a book out and had intended on reading it but instead found myself staring at the same page for two hours, wondering if I should un-pack my bags and forget about leaving but they were packed and I couldn't make myself un-pack them, I could even make myself move or turn the page.

The moment he walked in he must have picked up on the change in my mood because he dropped something and walked over to me. He stood in front of me arms crossed and I looked up at him, waiting for him to say something because my intentions were clear. He wasn't looking at me though, he was looking over my head, towards our bedroom and suddenly his intentions were very clear. I didn't want that and suddenly I wished I had left without saying goodbye, I stood up slowly, careful not to touch him in any way, I turned on my heel and moved towards the door but his hand on wrist stopped me. I didn't turn around to face him though, I just waited for whatever it was he planned on saying, I knew I could've pulled away and that I probably should have but I couldn't make myself.

"Your leaving then." It wasn't a question because he knew the answer already, my packed bags was enough proof of that. However, I still felt the need to answer him and escape before the slowly growing tension grew to hard to resist. I couldn't look at him though, because I knew his smoldering eyes would break any resolve I had left, so I nodded my head and pulled against his wrist.

He heard him smirk as he pulled me against his chest and wrapped his arms around my waist from behind, I wasn't aware that I had closed my eyes until he turned me around and kissed me. I knew I shouldn't have but I couldn't resist him and I knew this would be the last time I saw him, unless he was captured but that would end with his death so I hoped fervently that this would be the last time I saw him. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling myself closer and I felt him tighten his arms around my waist. Eventually I pulled away for air, I was already breathing heavily and I was pushed closer to hyperventilating when his lips moved to my neck and down my shoulder, I thought I should return the favor a little.

I ran my hands down his chest to the end of his shirt before I feathered my hands across his chest, his skin was hot and I heard him hiss as my cold hands moved across his chest. Soon cloths were coming off and I was down to my panties by the time by back hit the bed, he somehow managed to retain his pants though, when I moved to rectify that he push me roughly back onto the bed and smirk from above me, "Not so fast, if your leaving I'm going to make you scream first."

I writhed, he sounded like he meant what he said but I didn't have much to time wonder about it because the kiss he gave me wiped all thought from my mind. My hands went to his hair, trying to pull him closer as my hips ground into his, I heard him growl at my movements and his hand pushed my hips rather firmly back onto the bed. I glared at him, normally he'd never have pushed me away but he just smirked and I was suddenly very nervous about his previous comment.

His hands ran down my body and his lips followed closely behind, I had only two thoughts in my head, one that he was torturing me and I loved and hated him for it and two, that I knew what he was doing, he was trying to convince me to stay and it was working very very well. Every inch of my body was screaming for him, every brush of his skin and me screaming for more and he was slowly driving me crazy. Itachi could never be called gentel and I knew that by tomorrow I'd be covered in brusies and I'd be sore for days but right now all I wanted was him he to push into me and be as rough as he could without killing me.

He kept his promise, I screamed and I was pretty sure I even begged, not that I'd ever admit to it. When I had come down from my orgasmic high I was covered in sweat and I could feel my hair sticking out at very unattractive ways. I laid in the bed for a while after we were both done, trying to get the physical strength to get out of bed. My arm was lying across my eyes as I tried to get my breathing back under control and my heart to stop racing, it wasn't a task easily accomplished when I could feel his heat against my side.

Eventually I sat up, bringing the sheet up with me, not for modesty, he'd seen everything a few times at this point, but because I was naked and I no longer had another▓s heat keeping me warm. The floor was freezing against my bare feet and I was reluctant to get out of bed and leave, to willingly walk into the cold night. I shivered at thought of the cold wind blowing into my face, through my hair and freezing my hands, I considered staying here until it was warmer but that would mean more deaths on my mind and I'd put people I cared about through more needless pain. I heard him shift behind me and felt his hands brush across my bare back, the warmth that that little touch caused me was ridiculous but that didn't stop me from leaning into it.

His arms wrapped around my waist again, though not possessively this time and his chest pressed against my back, I greedily stole his warmth. His chin rested on my shoulder, it was an intimate gesture, one he hadn't done before because this gesture was one of caring not of simply getting into my pants. I held the sheet more tightly against my chest as I turned towards him, his eyes were closed and his breathing was coming out very softly. I wondered briefly if he'd fallen asleep but his grip was to tight for him to be sleeping, I leaned over and kissed the corner of his lips softly, it would be our last kiss because I stood up and moved away before he could kiss me properly.

I dressed quickly, feeling his eyes roam over me as I did and when I had pulled on my shirt I looked over at him, the sight almost had me gasping for air. He looked far to much like a sex god for anyone▓s good, his pale skin contrasted greatly with his dark eyes and hair, his well toned chest gave me the urge to touch him all over again. The sheets were slung low enough so that I could see a thin line of dark hair above the sheets. I figured it was only fair for me to be taking one last look, he'd been watching me very intently as I dressed after all.

I sighed again before I walked out of the bedroom, grabbed my bags, calmly walked out the front door and launched into a run. It was after midnight but I knew I wouldn't be stopping until I past through the gates I had so confidently strode through more then seven months ago. The cold air was worse then I'd pictured it, it pulled my hair from it's bun and I could feel wind-burn beginning to form on my lips. My hands were going numb but I just ignored it, I got hungry but I didn't stop, I didn't know how long I'd been running before I saw things I recognized but the sun was starting it's desent into the western sky.

I slowed when I saw the path that would lead to the gates, I jumped down onto the path and looked in the direction that would show the gates just around the corner. I walked towards the gate, not because I didn't have the energy to run but because I needed time to think. I had already formed a reason as to my absence, I was held hostage and had my chakra drained daily, I never learned the name of my captor and had managed to kill him one day after retaining enough chakra to short circuit his brain. My lack of injuries would be explained because I was a medic, I had healed myself on my way home. I doubted any one would question me after that but if they did I had various details filed away as needed, what I needed time to think about was how much I had changed since I had left.

I wasn't the same person on a lot of levels, I was definitely more assertive and more self reliant but I knew there were differences in how I acted that I couldn't really pinpoint. If I had been the same girl who had left, I wouldn't be slowly walking towards home, I'd be running, full speed and full of happiness that I was finally home. Instead I kept having flash backs of Itachi, not all of them were graphic but some were, I remembered the looks he'd give me and how he'd watched over me when I was defenseless. I considered turning around and running back to him, I had been happy there and here I wasn't always happy, here I worked hard to make sure everyone else was happy and often pretended I was happy.

It's not that I wasn't happy in Konoha, I was but being with Itachi, being free, had made me happy, a different kind of happy but I knew that I couldn't run from my duties and my life here, people needed me. The happy I was with Itachi was the kind that having no responsibilities made you, it was the kind teenagers wanted, the no rules no consequences but everything I did had a consequence and I couldn't ignore that any more. I sighed, pushed all my memories of the last few months deep inside my mind and walked into the village.

It was late evening so people were still out, having dinner and going shopping, some looked at me, shock written on there faces. I recognized a few as people I had healed, I could name most of them but I didn't stop to say hello and I didn't smile; I didn't want people running up and saying hello or welcoming me back, I just wanted to get to the Hokage▓s office and figure out why I hadn't heard anything about a search party for me. I was still confused and angry about that, if I had actually been held hostage for the entire time, or if I had been taken by anyone who had actually wanted to hurt me, then I would have been tortured and I probably would have either broken or driven so far into my mind that I couldn't have been brought back.

The guards in front of the Hokage tower looked just as shocked when they saw me, they were to surprised to ask for my papers or reason for entering the building, I would have to have a chat with Tsunade about them. I heard the one to my right stutter something but I just pushed past him, my anger at having not been searched for was increasing and I didn't have the patience for two incompetent ninja to stutter questions at me. I ignored the people who stared at me once I was inside the buildings, I heard a few more half formed questions but I just walked past them and up the stairs to the large doors which blocked the Hokage from my view.

My chakra was still masked but if I knew the Hokage then she was either drunk or ignoring people who walked by her office. I knocked, loudly, on the door, the noise echoed throughout the hallway and a few people poked their heads out of their offices, I heard a few gasps and shocked whispers but I didn't focus on them because I heard her call to me to come in. I pushed the anger back down, schooled my features into a blank expression before I walked into the office. She was staring out the window, papers in her hand but she wasn't reading them, her desk was covered in papers and she looked the exact same as she had when I left. I hadn't realized I'd that I had been hoping for her to be upset over my absence or maybe bent over maps planning the next area for my search but she wasn't, she was calmly looking out her window and ignoring work like she had everyday.

I wasn't going to be the first to speak so I waited for her to say something, I knew silence would annoy her and I knew she'd snap at me soon enough. I was right, I saw her shoulders tense and her hands clench and she said, without looking at me, "Well? Are you going to ask me whatever it was you came here for or stand there like a fool?" She didn't sound happy. I found some amount of pleasure in that, after all it doesn't look like she'd put any effort into getting me back. Once when a Kakashi went missing for a week she had her whole office swarming with people and maps, she organized three search parties and sent two single man cells out to look for him, yet when I disappear for months, she doesn't even have one map of the place were I vanished.

"Well, I was just curious as to what you were up to these days. I see you've gotten on well enough with my absence." My voice was calm, even and I kept my body posture closed but not defensive. I took her a few moments before she whipped around and looked at me wide eyed, disbelief coloring every inch of her face. She just stared at me for a few minutes, not knowing what to say I suppose, her hazel eyes looked over every inch of my body, looking for wounds I guessed but that didn't make any sense because I would've already healed them. She stood up slowly and walked around her desk, coming to stand just a few feet from me, this wasn't the greeting I had expected but it made sense the more I thought about it. After all, my chakra was masked and it seemed I was supposed to be dead, however, I wasn't about to unmask my chakra and have every person I knew come running here to see me.

"Show me the scar you got when we were training." She raised a thin eyebrow at me, apparently she was testing me, not trusting that I was really back. If someone was impersonating me then they wouldn't know all my scars and that certainly wouldn't know which scar she was talking about. My lips pulled into a small smile as I pulled my shirt up to show the underside of my forearm, where a thin, curved scar was. Her eyes zoned in on the mark, not for long because soon her arms wrapped around my shoulders and she hugged me with bone crushing strength.

When she pulled away her eyes were shining with tears but she was smiling at me with happiness I hadn't expected. Her hands rested on my shoulders as she said, "We thought you were dead, we found a sight on the path you would have taken, burned to a crisp and several burned body▓s. Two of the body▓s were so badly burned that they couldn't be identified." Her eyes searched mine again, looking for something. "When we couldn't find any sign of you leaving or sightings in the first three months we thought our worst fears were realized..."

So they had looked for me, I lost a little of the anger but they had only searched for three months, I'd been gone more then seven. Still, I smiled at her because her relief and joy at my arrival showed she did care about me and that I'd been a fool to assume she hadn't looked for me. She pulled me over to her couch and sat me down, her hand grasped one of mine as she said in a soft voice, "Sakura, what happened?"

I looked away, I couldn't lie to her while looking at her, she was my mentor and a mother figure to me, I'd knew she'd think I was remembering some horrific event. I told her the story I'd come up with that was only half true, that I'd been taken hostage and held there, that he'd tried to get information about Konoha from me but I hadn't given him any. I explained that he'd taken my chakra away, leaving me with barely enough to stay alive and how one day he left me with enough to over load his brain and kill him.

She asked a few questions but she believed me whole heartedly, after all, to her knowledge there was no reason for me to lie to her. After a few hours of questions and answers I was allowed to go home and rest, my apartment hadn't been rented out and no one could handle removing my things. When I walked in, it was dusty, dirty but untouched but it still looked different from what I remembered, my bright colored walls looked out of place with the ninja and medical gear that laid around. My plants had died and books that I'd left opened looked abandoned, papers that were classified were strewn across my coffee table, I'd forgotten how messy I'd lived.

I walked around for a few minutes, observing the belongings that I owned with different eyes, it was kind of like walking through a dream. After a while I started cleaning, something I never would have done with a free night but I couldn't stand the mess, it felt suffocating. I brought all the books and papers to my office, which used to be a spare bedroom, I tossed the dead plants and moved the ninja and medical things back into my closet or office. When I was done, my apartment looked different, it was uncluttered and neat, before I thought about it I threw open all my windows and allowed the cold air to removed the musty smell, I left them open when I went to bed.

The next day was a blur of friends coming over, hugs, tears and yelling. I'd told the same story I told Tsunade, Naruto came over first and stayed until late at night, I saw just how hard my 'death' had been on him and I regretted waiting so long to come back to see him and when he hugged, for the first time, I remembered just how much I loved and missed him. He was the only person I cried over seeing and the only person whose presence didn't bother me.

He left just before midnight, reluctant but I knew Hinata was waiting for him and I wanted some time alone. When I was finally alone I opened the tall windows in my bedroom and swung my legs outside, the air was warmer out tonight then it had been the night before, spring would be upon us in another month or so. It was still my favorite time of year, despite all the changes I'd gone through, everything was alive again in spring, the air was warm and the wind carried smells of leaves and grass instead of ice.

It was to cloudy to see the stars or moon but that didn't stop me from staring up at the sky, wishing I was away from the city lights. My changes in character hadn't gone unnoticed but people chalked in up to my resent traumatic events, I didn't bother to correct them. Naruto had asked me a thousand questions, most of which I didn't have to answer because he fired off the next ten to quickly for me to even consider answering. The next few weeks passed by in the same way, Naruto, and some times Kakashi, would come over in the morning to take me to breakfast or out to train, they'd stay with me most of the day unless I had a shift at the hospital. I didn't mind the company but I knew they were waiting for a break down of some kind but after a month the visits were shorter and after two months we were back to seeing each other once or twice a week and after two and a half months Naruto asked the question which made me consider leaving again.

He didn't mean it in a perverted way, "So, Sakura have you found a guy to settle down with yet?" He smirked at me. The moment the question left his month I was bombarded with images of Itachi, it's not like I hadn't thought of him since I'd gotten here but the images were much stronger. He must have seen the sudden change in my eyes or something because he smirked at me and nudge my arm, "You have! Who's the lucky guy?"

I rolled my eyes at his over-excited voice before I said, "It doesn't matter, Naruto, so leave it alone." I was glad we were eating at the time, it gave me something to focus on so it wouldn't look like I was avoiding his eyes.

"Come on, Sakura! Who is it?" I should've known it wouldn't have been that easy. I started to think of a way to get out of this without lying to much because he would sense a lie and bother me forever about it then, I needed something that sounded boring but satisfied his curiosity. I couldn't think of anything boring but I had a story that wasn't fully lying and should sway him from asking further questions.

"It doesn't matter, Naruto. He doesn't care for me the way I do for him." I was extremely angry at the sadness that had leaked into my voice. I looked over at him, his eyes were wide, like I'd said something he couldn't believe. He put his hand on my shoulder and shook me slightly, I new he was going to say something I didn't want to hear but I couldn't stop him.

"Ehh, you could have any guy you wanted. Don't look so sad, Sakura." I didn't realize I looked sad until he sad that and suddenly I felt the sadness wash over me. I tried to push the thoughts of him away, I couldn't leave here to go back and I wasn't even sure if he'd want to see me anymore, I could've been just a fuck buddy to him, I probably was. I could still feel Naruto's eyes on me, I didn't know what to say to him or if I needed to say anything. His eyes stayed on me though, so I had to say something to him.

"Your not going to let this go, are you Naruto?" I slid my eyes over to him, letting annoyance color my eyes and tone. He just smiled a very bright and very big smile at me, I sighed. I had two options, tell half truths now or try and tell him more truth then lies tonight, I looked over at him, I wanted to lie because it would be so much easier but I knew I'd never be able to get a coherent lie out with him looking at me like that.

I looked back at my food before I said, "I can't tell you everything, Naruto but if you want to know so badly then come over tonight." I could see his confused look but he didn't question me and further and I couldn't stay to regret what I said, so I paid for our food and walked back home. I walked into my apartment and instantly needed something to keep my mind and hands busy so I wouldn't dwell on what I had just done, I had pretty much agreed to turn myself in to Naruto, I had no doubt that he wouldn't take what I had to tell him well, of course I wasn't planning on mentioning any names but I realized I didn't want to keep this to myself anymore. It was weak of me, to need to tell someone my secret, to have someone else in this village know who I spent to much time thinking about and know about the one person who had managed to get under my skin.

The task I picked to keep myself busy was paper work, I started helping Lady Tsunade with her paper work again and I had some of my own that I needed to do so it was the perfect task to keep my mind off the stupid thing I had promised to do. Time passed faster and slower then I would have liked and soon I heard my door creak open and then click shut, Naruto had started just walking in again, the first two months I had been home he'd knocked but whatever had made him start clearly didn't matter anymore because he simply walked in now.

I pushed away from the desk and hesitantly walked into my living room, where Naruto was standing, looking around, he still wasn't use to my house being clean. He smiled at me when he saw me and I gestured for him to sit with me and I waited for the questions to start coming before I started telling him things that maybe he wasn't even interested in hearing. We just looked at each other, he was apparently waiting for me to say something and I was waiting for him to question me, I decided to speak first so we could get this over with as fast as possible.

"So, Naruto, what did you want to know?" I looked at him, as much as I wanted to just spill out the whole story I knew that just telling him everything would be stupid. He blinked at me a few times, thinking about what questions he would ask that would be answered and which ones I probably wouldn't answered. I had no idea what he would come up with to ask me, I realized I failed miserably at making this story seem boring but maybe I had never actually wanted him to give up, either way it didn't matter. He looked like he was thinking really hard, which was a little confusing to me because normally he'd just ask a question without thinking but right now he was putting a lot of thought into his questions, it made me nervous.

I started to mentally yell at myself, I should have just said no one, not some cryptic answer that had him hungry for the story. Eventually he looked at me and I knew he'd decided on his questions and judging from the resolve in his eyes, he wouldn't be leaving until he got the answers. He shifted so he was fully facing me before he asked, which made me berate myself a little more because now I had to look at him while I answered and he would probably see any blatant lie I said.

"Well, I know you don't want to tell me, or anyone, about this guy. So the only question I have right now is why don't you?" He didn't say that in his normal high pitched voice or the eager way and for the first time I realized just how much he'd grown up over the years. He wasn't the same annoying twelve year old I met and hated, he was all grown up and maybe he'd be mature enough to understand the edited story I was going to tell him. Unfortunately, he asked a question I couldn't answer one-hundred percent truthfully so I'd have to change a few things without diverting to much from the truth, vaguely I wondered when he'd gotten so smart.

"Ok..well..it's because he doesn't live here, Naruto. I can't leave to be with him, I don't even know if he still wants to be with me. So I haven't talked about it because there really isn't a point to." I was a little proud of myself, I hadn't lied, I had told a lie of omission, I hadn't told Naruto that it was Itachi I was talking about but I don't think he expected a name anyway.

He nodded, maybe not happy about the lack of information I'd given him but pleased that I'd answered him at all. His bright blue eyes locked with mine, as he asked the next question, "So, how'd you meet him then?" Again, I wondered when he'd gotten so good and interrogation. I had a half-truth that would answer that question, since I couldn't tell him the full truth and I doubted I could make myself out-right lie to him.

I broke the eye contact with him, moving my eyes to the window, I knew he'd pick up on the fact that I wasn't going to tell him the whole truth and some how I knew he wouldn't press me for the whole truth. It wasn't long before I moved my eyes back to his and smiled a little before saying, "You've gotten good at questioning, Naruto." He smirked at me. I shook my head before saying, "Well, I met him on my way home, from my last..mission. I was injured from fighting the men and he took me in and helped me get better. I stayed with him so I could regain my chakra heal my injuries." I saw him giving me a look, one that clearly asked, 'did you sleep with this guy?' I returned the look with a pointed one of my own. "Well..I got feelings for him and it seemed like he had some for me but I knew I couldn't stay with him anymore because I knew people here would be crying over my...death when I was alive. So I came back." I sighed, memories I'd repressed came back, his kiss, touch, smell, taste, everything just hit me. Things I'd forgotten like how he'd laughed at me when I split my drink all over myself, the way he'd glared at every guy who so much as looked at me when we were out, they weren't romantic things but it proved that he cared about me.

Naruto was just looking at me, I guess digesting everything I'd said. I hadn't given him a lot of information but I guess it was enough to satisfy him or maybe he knew I couldn't really give him anymore information. It looked like he understood but I felt compelled so say, "So, you can see how it doesn't matter. I have to stay here, I can't just leave to be with him or if I did I'd become a missing-nin. Hunted, a traitor."

Naruto gave me a sympathetic look, it looked like he was trying to think of something, probably trying to come up with something that would make me feel better but I knew there really wasn't anything he could say. After awhile he said, "Sounds like you've gotten yourself a little bit of drama, Sakura." I looked at him, a smile pulling at my lips. It wasn't long before I started laughing and he soon joined in, I was the only person who could fall in love with a missing-nin while being held hostage by him. I knew this would be the stupidest thing I'd ever heard, if it wasn't happening to me. If this was happening to some other girl, I'd think she was weak for allowing that and tell her that her choice was simple, her village came first and everything else second. I wished it was that easy, I'd spent a great deal of the past months telling myself that this village was more important, that nothing should ever make me question my loyalty to it but one guy brought everything I use to hold dear into question.

After we calmed down, Naruto looked seriously at me and said, "I can't imagine that, if you weren't telling me yourself I wouldn't believe it." He pulled me into a hug before saying, "Maybe you should talk to Tsunade, she might have an idea about all this...." I pushed him away a little so I could look at him, he meant well but I couldn't even picture myself telling the Hokage my fairy-tale like star-crossed lovers story, she'd think I was either crazy or lying through my teeth. Either way I doubted she would just let me leave, to go stay with him or if she did she'd want to know why he couldn't just come here and I knew telling her who he was so far out of the question that it didn't even warrant thought.

I just shook my head and said in a sarcastic voice, "Yeah, I could just walk in and tell her, of course she'd just let me leave to be with some guy she doesn't know." I saw him wince at my tone and I regretted using it, he was just trying to help me, I changed my voice to a softer tone, hiding the bitterness that I felt, "She'd want to help me bring him here and he can't live here anymore then I can become a missing-nin." I smiled at him and he smiled sadly at me, we stayed silent for awhile before he said goodbye and got up and left. I walked over to my window and waved at him as he walked away, I did feel a little better after opening up a little and I knew he'd keep it a secret so I didn't have to worry about my sad little affair all over the village tomorrow.

I thought about his idea, going to the Hokage and all, it sounded crazy and stupid but I wondered if there was a way I could take extended missions or something. I knew it was wishful thinking, there was no way the Hokage or Naruto would ever allow me out of the village by myself again, I was a little angry about that, after all I was a competent ninja but I also knew that they only did it because they cared about me. It wasn't long after Naruto left that I walked into my bedroom and lied down, trying to sleep but as usual, sleep evaded me for several hours and in that time I had an idea. I wondered if I could take missions that would bring me close to his house and that if I couldn't go alone that maybe I get make some new ninja come with me then I could sneak away for a few hours at night, to see Itachi.

It sounded plausible but I knew it would probably sound much different in the morning. I feel asleep hoping that my idea would sound just as good in the morning as it did now, in my sleepy mind. For the first time since I got home I slept soundly. My dreams were full of trees as I ran through them, the sounds of Konoha behind me and the freedom of Itachi in front of me and myself stuck in the middle and not moving, although the threes around me did move. It wasn't a nightmare though, it was like having my life in Konoha filled with the freedom that Itachi offered. When I woke up I ached for to be back in my dream but no matter how hard I couldn't find sleep again.

My idea still sounded reasonable in the light of day, I didn't know how likely it would be that I could get a mission in the area that he lived in or if Itachi would even be there when I got there. Still, I knew even if I got a mission there and managed to see him, it'd only hurt that much more when I left or if he rejected me. After a few more hours of going over the plan, the more I wanted to try it, even if I only did it once, I had to try it. If he rejected me then I could move on knowing that he didn't want me, I would have to spend my days regreting leaving him and regreting my feelings of remorse about leaving him. If he still wanted me, if he was stil there and if he was exactly what my mind told me he was, well, I had no idea what I'd do then. All I knew was that I had to try because if I didn't try and see him, then I spend many more nights wondering about him. That afternoon and walked to the Hokage tower and up to her office without pause, the guards didn't even glance at me this time. 


	3. Chapter 3

I knocked loudly again and she called me in quickly. I walked in without hestitation and said in a pleasant voice, "Hello, Tsunade-sama."

She gave me an odd look at my formalness before she responded, "Hello, Sakura. Do you need something?" She folded her hands over the desk and fixed me with a wary glance. I walked over and sat across from her in one of the chairs, I wasn't exactly sure how I should go about asking her but I just kept telling myself it was just a normal request for a mission, nothing more. I hoped that if I kept telling myself then I'd believe it and maybe I could make her believe it as well.

"Yes, I'd like to be put back on active duty, like I was before." Before I'd left I got to choose which missions to be sent on, I could say no due to hospital duties and I'd also be sent on more diplomatic missions the assignation ones. I didn't really mind, fighting wasn't my main skill and I'd accepted that a long time ago but I could talk very smoothly and I almost always won the argument. The Hokage looked me over before giving me a confused look, I thought my request was simple but maybe she'd been shocked by my wanting to go out so soon.

"Are you sure you want to go back out so soon?" She looked worried and I had to keep repeating to myself that she was only worried because she didn't want to lose me again. Still, it was a little insulting for her to think I couldn't take care of myself, sure I probably would have been killed on my last mission but that was the life of a ninja and I didn't like being held back because of someone else▓s fear.

"Yes, I can't take only working at the hospital any longer. I need to get back out, I can't hide in the village for the rest of my life." I smiled at her again, trying to get my point across. I hadn't figured out just how I would get a mission in the area I needed but the area I had to go to didn't much matter because I could always take missions until I was were I needed to be. She nodded and began sifting through the papers on her desk, hopefully looking for a mission for me.

After a few minutes she pulled out a thin folder, which was a shock because most diplomatic missions had thick folders filled with information on why I needed to go, who I had to deal with and information of those peoples dating back decades at times. She looked up at me and said, "This isn't a diplomatic mission, exactly. There are a few small town south east of us, they aren't attached to any village and over the years I've had a few contact me, hoping to join with us. Normally I send a few newly made joinin out, to test if they can handle themselves properly. But since your back and I want to ease you in, no offence, I thought you could take this."

I'd been on a few of these, a couple years ago and I'd done well on them but I didn't like being sent back on baby missions. All they required was someone to take notes on the town in question, examine the people ant report back on whether or not the town was decent enough to become affiliated with us. My first instinct was to reject it, I didn't need to be eased back into a job I trained my whole life for, but then I thought about it. This town was in the right area, it didn't require my presence to be document and it would be my job to explore the area and even surrounding villages, to make sure that they weren't in a fight with one. It would be a perfect mission, so there had to be a catch. Maybe she wanted Naruto to go with me, or maybe she wanted to test me somehow, would she be sending a spy to follow me, to see if I was up to something?

I couldn't imagine her doing that but I had been gone for months, my story involved people trying to get information about the village out of me so maybe she thought I'd been swayed to join them and was reporting to them. I wasn't sure if I should ask her about it or if I was being paranoid, after all I would be sneaking around so maybe I was just assuming the worst in people because I was doing something that would be considered wrong. Still I wanted to try it, I was a top ninja, I'd know if someone was falling me or if I didn't notice and went to Itachi, well then, he would notice.

I smiled and said in a slightly put off, because it was a baby mission, but excited, because I would get to go, voice, "Yes, I would like that." She smiled at me a spun the folder around, showed me the things I'd need to check out while there and who to talk to and told me I would have to leave tomorrow. Before I left I asked, "This is a solo mission, correct?"

"Unless you'd like me to assign you a partner, yes it is." She watched as I shook my head and walked out of the office back to my apartment, to pack. For some reason I hadn't expected Naruto to find out about my mission until I told him but some how he showed up two hours later at my house, full of questions but without the tact he'd had the day before. He was a bundle of nerves and energy, worrying that something would happen to me and questioning if I was only going to see the mystery guy. I rolled my eyes, "No, Naruto. I'm going because the hospital work is going to drive me crazy if I don't get out for a while."

He paused for a moment, to shudder as he thought about the white rooms of the hospital, which he hated with a passion. It didn't take him long to ask, "Do you want me to come with you, Sakura-chan? I wouldn't mind." He looked at me with big blue eyes, pleading with me to take him with me. I sighed, I didn't want to hurt his feelings but I didn't want anyone following me or have him playing twenty questions for the next few weeks, I had an excuse that wasn't a lie though.

"Naruto, I need to prove to everyone that I can handle myself, again. It's an easy mission, I'm going to a little town that doesn't even have ninja or have a reason for anyone to go there." I walked over and hugged him, he smiled sheepishly at me.

"It's not that I don't trust you..I just worry..your my family." I smiled at him again, he really was sweet and he did care a lot about me but I still couldn't have him with me while I was on this mission. He had defiantly matured over the years, I don't know how I missed it, he might still act like the annoying twelve year old sometimes but he really was all grown up now and he wasn't ashamed to show how he felt, Hinata was lucky.

"Your my family too, Naruto, don't ever forget that. Now, how about so ramen before I have to go?" He might be all grown up but he would always be a freak about ramen, that face-splitting grin appeared and off we went, he was almost dragging me but I didn't mind. The meal went by happily, laughing and joking with one another, it was like when we were children, care free and loving the world. After a while we split paths, each going back to our own homes, me to finish packing and him back to Hinata and his happy life. I knew I didn't have to leave until tomorrow but I couldn't sit around in my apartment, knowing I could see him again. So I left, I left a note for Naruto in case he came looking for me in morning and I ran into the woods, not a fast as I could have but not at a civilian pace.

Part of me realized I was exaggerating how happy I had been with Itachi, the last week I had been with him I'd spent all but a few hours thinking about Konoha but now that I was hear, all I thought about him. He was never romantic or soft with me, he never got me things or whispered sweet nothings in my ear but I had been happier with him then I'd been with any other man, I wondered why that was. I left that night, planning on using the night to sort out just why I had been so happy with him and not with the guys I could actually be with. It wasn't that he was dangerous or forbidden, if I wanted that I would still be pinning for Susake and it wasn't that I couldn't be with him because again, I could be pinning for Sasuke or even Naruto.

So why him, why Itachi? What made him different from the guys I could have here or Sasuke. He had returned my feelings, maybe not as openly as I would've liked but he had, but I had guys here who liked me and who I didn't have to sneak out to meet. My thoughts circled for hours into the night and when I finally stopped I hadn't figured anything about besides the fact that I was crazy for liking Itachi and not the guys who were in my village who had a lot in common with Itachi. Once my camp was set up and I had eaten the travel food I had packed, my mind went back to trying to figure out why I was willing to risk everything for one man.

The night was clear, I could see more stars then I ever could in Konoha and the soft sound of the wind was much more soothing then the sounds of the city, I felt free again. I expanded my senses, searching for a follower that Tsunade might have sent to watch me but I didn't feel any other presence besides my own. The stars distracted my thoughts from Itachi for awhile but eventually they went back to him and one stray thought showed me why I liked him and not the guys in the village. He didn't pressure me at all, there was no talk of marriage or commitment like I knew the guys back home wanted, but Itachi hadn't ever made me do anything. I knew back home I'd be expected to give up my ninja life to raise kids but some part of me knew that Itachi would never force me to choose either way, not that I was planning on having kids with him. Another reason might be that out here, I didn't have to watch everything I said and I could just relax and breathe, I knew people in Konoha were always watching everyone else, waiting for the next bit of gossip like sharks.

So basically it was the freedom he could give me that set him apart from everyone else and not just the freedom from rules but the freedom to just be and not be judged at every turn. Part of me was screaming that that was a stupid reason, that if that was all I could come up with then I needed to get over him and move on, freedom was something teenagers ran away to get, not something adults did. The other part of me was telling me that I shouldn't have to settle for something that doesn't make me happy and that I can't force myself to get over someone. Once again I found myself torn between being an adult and doing what was expected or giving into my selfish wants and allowing myself to love him.

Eventually exhaustion brought sleep to me, only a few hours before sunrise. When I woke up the sun was still low in the sky but the colors from the sunrise had faded away, it didn't take me long to pack up and start running again. I was only four more hours run away from the town I needed to get to, I wasn't sure how far away Itachi's home was from the village but I knew I could get there easily, as long as it was within a days run. When I got to the town, I recognized it as the little town were I'd almost had a one nights stand, the one I'd seen Itachi in before I'd run away and he'd saved me from freezing. It was bigger then I remembered and cleaner, which pleased me and I realised that I must have run through the poorer side of town.

This was strange, this town hadn't heard anything about ninja's in a long time but maybe when they saw me run through the streets faster then I should have, probably with Itachi on my heals, they got nervous. That would explain why they wanted to join with a village but why would they have waited almost half a year before contacting one? I reasoned that maybe we weren't their first choice, maybe they tried to join with a larger town before Konoha, maybe even another village.

I walked to the main building, in the center of the town, where I had been told to meet the leader, of course I was a day early but I figured the man should be in office. I showed my papers to the guards, they looked shocked but ushered me in none the less. The leader was younger then I'd expected, late twenties with light blonde hair and hazel colored eyes, he was rather attractive and his eyes roamed over me to, apparently I wasn't what he'd expected either. I bowed, showing respect, he was a leader, even if it was of a small town, "Hello, I'm from Konoha. I'm here on request of my Hokage to see if your village should be allowed to join with ours." I kept my tone professional and calm.

The man behind the desk stood up and said, "Yes, thank you for coming. Do you need anything?" He had a pleasant voice, I realized and he also had a pleasant smile. I wished I could fall for a simpler man like him, Tsuande would approve of him and she might have even let me come stay here to report back to her on this town. He offered me a seat across from him and I sat, masking the emotions I felt, this was a mission first and foremost.

"I need to know if you control any more..towns besides this one?" I opened the folder I had, with the questions I had to ask and the slots for the information I'd get. It was an interview and I couldn't risk forgetting anything so I always wrote down what I was told as I was told. He looked a little confused, I wasn't sure why but it didn't matter, I pulled out a pen and waited for him to answer my question.

"Um..yes.."He got up and walked over to a new looking map hanging on the wall to my left. He pointed to few smaller towns within forty miles of the town I was in, "A few of the smaller ones are under my rule. I can't offer them protection though, which I why I'm looking towards your village." He looked back at me, his eyes roaming over my body and gear, suddenly I understood the shock and confusion I noted before, he couldn't believe a women like me was a ninja.

"How many and what are the populations of the towns?" I smiled at him, I didn't need to be pleasant but I didn't see a reason to be rude as it was my experience that people talked more when you were pleasant.

He smiled at me again, showing white teeth and making me wonder again why I couldn't fall for him, "Five, counting the one we're in now. The smaller four have less then a thousand people and this one has about two thousand people. Any more questions?" He had sat back down across from me and was leaning forward, towards me. I wrote down his answers, they were what I'd expected as I'd been through a few of the little towns before. I looked back over to the map, one was about the same size as this one, I wondered if he was having problems with that one.

"Yes. Why do you require the protection of Konoha?" I looked back up at him, his clear eyes looking at with intensely. I was a little shocked by that but I didn't show it, I could not allow any emotion besides pleasantness to show.

He straighten up a little and looked back at the map before answering, "The people no longer feel safe, I've tried to calm them but I can't so I'm doing the only thing I can think of that will make them feel safe again." He sighed, looking a little defeated. He crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair, he was very focused on the map, making me wonder if there was some sort of battle going on with the other town.

"Why do they no longer feel safe?" I still kept and pleasant face and tone of voice, after all he seemed like a good enough guy and he seemed to be trying to help the people. He looked over at me, a small on his lips.

"That town, "He gestured the largest village to the south, "Has recently begun...threatening the smaller towns not under my rule. The people fear that soon they will turn on us, I'm hoping that your villages protection will stop any ideas they have of attacking us." He looked troubled and I understood why. Again I wrote down his answer and I only had two questions left for the day, then I could go to my room and try and sleep before tomorrow.

"Two more questions then I'm done for now. Does this other village have ninja and would you require...financial aid?" The last question was what most towns hated to answer, they didn't want to admit to needing help but at the same time they knew they couldn't refuse it. Konoha never supplied them for more then a year and during that time we would send people to help educated them on how to run without going into debt, this village didn't look like it needed help but I still had to ask.

"They have no ninja and no, we do not need money." He still had the warm smile on his face and his eyes seemed to light up a little.

I nodded, wrote down the last bit of information, stood up and said, "I'll be in this village for the next few days, then I'll spend a day in each of the smaller ones you rule over before returning here with any additional questions. Then I'll return to Konoha and you'll have an answer with the next two months." He smiled again and I returned it.

"Ok...will you require anything besides a room?" He stood up and walked with me until we were standing on the front steps outside the building where his office was. The sun was starting to set, the sky was painted with dark reds and the eastern sky▓s were already dark.

"No, I will be paying for my room." He tried to interrupt me but I gave him a hard look and said, "Anything you give me will look like a bribe and I cannot accept them." He seemed at little put off by my sudden change in tone but I couldn't be swayed on this, it was part of my contract for the mission. He seemed to understand though because he looked back towards the sunset before he said, "Do you need an escort to your Inn?"

I shook my head and walked down the stairs, turning once I was down them, "No, I can see it from here." He smiled again and waved as I walked away, I could feel his eyes on me until I turned around a corner. Once I'd checked into the Inn I collapsed onto the bed, trying to decide if I should go try and see Itachi tonight or tomorrow night, I was tired but I doubted the knowledge of being so close to Itachi would let me sleep.

So I did the only thing I could think to do at the moment, I went to the roof of the Inn and unmasked my chakra, knowing that if he was within twenty miles of me, he'd come or he would choose not to. I sat up there for hours, waiting for him and watching the stars which were hided by the lights of the city again, I could see the brightest stars and the mood and I didn't so much as sense his chakra, once I heard a clock strike two I went back to my room and slept. The next day I dressed in civilian clothes, which consisted of a long sleeved red dress which stopped just above my knee's and sandals, I didn't want to look like a ninja while I observed the people but I had to cover my arms, the scars would cause people to question me, once I was done getting dressed I walked out into the town, to observe the people.

It was a Saturday morning, almost lunch time by the time I'd gotten out, some people gave me strange looks but most ignored me. I went into little stores and looked around, asking people about their lives here under the guise that I was thinking about moving here with my soon to be husband, people didn't like single women moving into their towns. They all said it was quiet, peaceful and a great place to start a family, I asked about crime, they said there wasn't a lot. The people I talked to were friendly, over all I didn't here anything that concerned me, which meant I should move on to one of the surrounding small towns. That night after dinner I packed up my belongings and decided I'd leave for the smallest town in the morning, visit all four over the next two days and have this mission over within the week but of course I new I wouldn't leave until I knew if Itachi still wanted me, if he missed me.

I went back on the roof, this time I thought I felt his chakra, just for a second but I wasn't sure so I went down stairs and went to sleep. I left the next morning before the sun was up and was only a mile from the village when the sun was just coloring the eastern sky, I knew none of the village people would really be awake yet so I made my way up to the top of a tree to watch the sunrise, it was my favorite thing in the world. I hated waking up in the morning so I never got to see it, which made the view that much more beautiful, the color's were happier and I loved the knowledge that everyone else was comfortably sleeping and the world was peaceful, if only for a few minutes.

Eventually the colors faded back into the blue that every one saw and I jumped back down to the earth, intending to make way into the newly awaken village but I was stopped by the pressure of chakra, which was a few feet behind me. I knew instantly who it was and my stomach dropped and my heart soared all in the same moment, part of me had given up on him coming but I didn't realize just how small of a part that was until I felt the overwhelming joy at his presence. I stood with my back to him though, I couldn't make myself turn around to look at him, my heart was pounding to hard and I knew my feelings were written on my face but I didn't know how he felt.

He kept the distance between us, not that I moved to be closer to him. We both just stood there, silent and still, I wasn't sure what I wanted to say to him and I couldn't even begin to know what he was thinking. Once I got my emotions under control, I turned to face him and I nearly had the breath knocked out of me. He was even more beautiful then I'd remembered and his eyes were glued to me, in a very heated way. I knew instantly what I wanted, I wanted a relationship with him not just a fuck buddy, I wasn't blind to how stupid and crazy that was and how hard it would be to have but I wanted that. But when I saw the look in his eyes, the raw want that burned in them, I lost all the words I'd strung together to form pretty speeches and could only think about him and how much I wanted him, how much I'd missed him.

However liquefied my brain might have been, I still didn't want to be the one who ran to him, I didn't want to give him the impression that all I wanted was a physical relationship. The tension between us grew steadily, his eyes burning and I could feel the lust leaking into my own eyes but it seemed he was also adamant in not coming to me. Once I realized that, I smiled, which seemed to have confused him because he raised an eyebrow in question, I return the gesture and took one step forward. He seemed to have understood and took a step forward and it continued like that till we were in the middle, both having taken twenty steps and having one step left, I didn't want to take the last step but I knew he wouldn't either. The tension was almost burning me at this point, we still hadn't spoken a word but that wasn't unusual, for us at least.

Of course I ended up taking that last step towards him and once he'd wrapped his arms around me, I'd heard him laugh, "Welcome back, Sakura." I froze, did he honestly think I'd left the village to be with him, did he think I'd become a traitor, I knew he'd felt me go tense but he didn't react, he just held me for awhile and I realized that this was the first time he'd held me. I didn't want to pull away, even though I knew I had to because he clearly thought I was here for him, which I was, but I wouldn't be here for more then a week. I turned my head so I was facing his neck, I could see his eyes if I turned mine up but I kept my eyes closed tightly, "Itachi..." I sighed his name, something I hadn't intended, "I'm here on a mission...I didn't..I can't leave my village to be with you."

I felt him shift to look at me but I didn't open my eyes, "I didn't assume that you had." My eyes opened of their own violation and I looked at him, I was sure he'd thought I'd come solely to be with him. He looked amused, apparently he knew what I was thinking and he found it amusing. I just looked at him, trying to figure him out because something had changed since I'd left, before he would have never have held me without kissing or touching me and he would have never thought I'd come here without the soul propose of being with him. I wasn't sure what to say but I couldn't seem to stop my mouth from opening and closing, looking for something to say.

He chuckled and said, "I'd felt your presence the first day you were here. I wasn't sure if you were here for me until you waited on the roof but I decided to wait to see you. You gave me the perfect opportunity today." My mouth froze open, I was aware I looked like an idiot but I couldn't stop myself from staring at him in amazement. He'd waited to see if I wanted to see him? That wasn't anything like what I'd expected, I wasn't entirely sure if this was Itachi anymore because he'd contradicted almost everything I'd remembered. I remembered my fear of being followed and I wondered if someone had figured out I was involved with Itachi and was impersonating him in order to catch me betraying Konoha.

I tried to pull away but he held me tight so I twisted me head away from him and said in a suspicious voice, "How do I know your Itachi?" I knew it was his chakra but I knew some people could take minute amounts of chakra from a person, then repress there own while allowing the other person chakra to flow free, effectively taking another chakra signature. I'd never known anyone who could hold it this long or heard rumors of anyone who could but I wasn't taking any more chances, it was foolish enough of me to walk into his arms, in a public place. If this was an impersonator or if I was being watched, I'd be in a lot of trouble when I got home.

He gave me an odd look, like I said something completely ridiculous, which I may have. Instead of answering my question, he kissed me, which was better then words in at least two nameable ways. Number one was, I'd wanted so badly to kiss him since I first sensed his presence and two because no one else kissed me like he did. I felt the uneasiness about him vanish, my mind still told me someone could be watching but I ignored it while he kissed me. Once he pulled away, just enough to have his lips brushing mine instead of attached to them, I said, "So..you are Itachi. I missed you."

I felt him smirk against my lips, I wasn't sure how I felt about this but I knew our time together, at least for the day, was coming to an end. "Yes..I've...missed..you as well." He said it in a hesitant voice, like he wasn't sure if that was the right thing to say or not. I just smiled and pressed my lips against his in a tight lipped kiss, before I managed to brake away from his arms.

I said, "I'm here on a mission, I have to go." I took a couple steps away from him before saying, "I'll meet up with you later.."

For the rest of my mission he came to my room and I enjoyed every moment he was with me and I knew that I couldn't not see him again. I put off talking about how I would make our relationship work, I wanted to talk about it but I didn't want to spoil the time I had with him. It was the last day of my mission when I finally couldn't put off talking about what we were doing anymore. I had packed my things and my bags were sitting by the door, he was laying in my bed, with only sweat pants on and I was sitting next to him. "Itachi, do you want a relationship that▓s more then sex with me?" I looked down at him, every cell in my body on high alert and my nerves on end. I had to put it bluntly because I knew myself well enough to know that if I had beaten around the bush then I would've never gotten to my point.

He pushed himself into a sitting position and looked at me, dark eye practically burning me. "Do you think I only wanted sex? If that was the case I would've picked up a whore, they would be much less work." He was much more talkative then when we first met and I was thrilled at what he'd said but I was also angry because this would make everything harder. I bent forward and rested my head against his shoulder, breathing in his scent and trying to remember every moment I had left.

"You know as well as I do that this isn't going to work, Itachi. You can't come to live with me and I can't be here with you. Sure me sneaking away might work for a time but eventually I'm going to want marriage and kids..we couldn't do that." I knew he was looking at me, thinking about what I'd said but I buried my face in his neck as he pulled me closer to him.

"So, you no longer wish to be with me." He said it in a blank voice but his arms didn't remove themselves from around me. He didn't sound upset or angry, and I wasn't sure why I had expected him to, he was still Uchiha Itachi, after all.

I pulled away, shocked and looked at him with wide eyes, "No! I just...I don't know what to do. I want to be with you, but how?" I felt hopeless again, I wanted so much to be with him but I couldn't leave the people I loved to think I'd betrayed them, hurt them again.

He looked at me, his dark eyes burning into mine again and a small smile tugging at his lips, "I don't know. The only thing I do know is I can't go with you, I can't make this choice easier." Her brushed his finger through my hair and kissed my forehead softly. He was being gentle with me, I secretly hoped it was because he felt the same pain I did and the hopelessness, because if he felt it, then I knew I wasn't alone in this.

I had only come up with one idea, my idea was very flawed and probably wouldn't work but it was all I had. "What if..." I stopped, he looked at me, curiously, expectant "If I told her I wanted to move here, as it will be part of the village. I wouldn't be abounding my friends and I could be with you.."

He looked shocked, it wasn't a common look for him and I instantly felt stupid for voicing my idea out loud. Of course that wouldn't work, no active ninja was allowed out of the main village in case an emergency occurred, I was also helping to run the hospital and I doubted Naruto and Tsunade would let me leave anyway. I sighed, maybe I should just leave now and never come back, break my heart now instead of putting it off. I hated being the weak little girl, the one who had fallen for the only guy she shouldn't have and now was trying desperately to keep him, when she knew she couldn't, I hated feeling powerless.

He still hadn't spoken so I knew my idea was stupid, I shouldn't have spoken. "That might actually work." His quiet words shocked me, my idea was stupid. I knew of several problems with my idea like the fact that most people who moved from Konoha were retired Ninja's not active ones and certainly not the head medic. I felt so stupid, I should have run away, I should have never stopped running, I should have ran the moment I found myself back under his control but no, my foolish heart had fallen in love and now I either had to hurt my loved ones or myself.

"No..no, Naruto wouldn't let me leave. Let alone Tsunade, plus what if anyone came to visit me? If I lived with you I couldn't bring them there and what if people questions my lack of a realionship? I can't tell them about us.." I just looked at him. I knew now I should just end things now, go home with a broken heart that I would eventually get over it and move on, maybe settle down with a simple civilian. He was looking at me with his dark eyes, burning into mine, I would miss those eyes and those thin lips which were pressing into a frown. He knew I was leaving, I had hoped my emotions were more hidden but he was always able to read my mind.

I knew this would happen at some point, of course I'd tried to do this before only to bring myself back into this very hopeless situation, I was angry with myself for coming back to him. My idea could work, it would involve a lot of arguments, tears and pain but eventually I could move here permanently, work in the hospital here and set up defenses around the town, maybe even train some ninja's to help protect the towns. But sooner or later some one would come to visit me and ask why I wasn't seeing anyone, if I was ever going to settle down and how could I answer them? I couldn't tell them I was in love and happy with an S-class criminal who was an enemy to the village and what if I got pregnant, how could I explain a baby with the sharingon or even being pregnant in the first place.

His hands were resting on my hips and I could feel his eyes on my face but I kept my eyes on the wall across from me. He kissed me, hard and I lost myself in the kiss, only he would be able to kiss me like this, to make me want him so much from such a simple act. His hands went to my back and drew me into his lap, so I was flush against him and I could feel how much he wanted me too but I knew I couldn't stay with him. I felt his bare chest under my hands and then his hair, I wasn't thinking but I was vaguely aware when cold air hit my back, followed by warm hands and a very small very annoying part of my mind was telling me I shouldn't do this but the rest of me didn't care, it felt to good to leave now.

I moved so my knee's were on either side of his hips as I was still sitting in his lap, one of his arms was snaked up my back, holding me very close and he had propped himself up on his other elbow, to hold us both up. My traitorous hands pushed him against the bed, causing his mouth to pull away from mine, only to lock onto my neck and move over my collar bone and down in between my breasts and I heard myself groan under his touches and kisses.

I felt him smirk against my chest so I pushed him away and smirked, my lips going to his neck and I heard his breath quicken just a little bit. I rocked against him and I heard him growl, he never was very patient, unless it was me who was being tortured. It was long until I was on my back and he was removing the remaining articles of clothing I had on, I returned the favor, pulling his pant off. He pushed into me, slowly and we both groaned, it wasn't long until our pace turned frantic, my legs went around his waist as I tried to bring us closer together.

We eventually found release and he collapsed next to me, my eyes were closed but his eyes were still on my face. I groaned and placed my hand over his face, he smirked again and kissed my palm and I couldn't help but smile. We both just laid there for awhile but I sat up, bringing the sheet with me, I realized that I had done this before, in almost the exact same way but I ignored that and stood up, once again gathering my clothes and pulling them on.

Some how it felt different, last time I had left for the same reason because I couldn't stand to hurt my friends and mentor but now I realized that I could never leave them, even if I wanted to. This time I had actually come here to find him, searched him out and had even discussed ways for us to stay together but I still knew it would never work so I should just break my heart now. Once I was fully dressed I turned to look at and he was once again laying undressed in my bed, looking at me with smoldering eyes and I was sorely tempted to just crawl back in bed with him and never leave.

I looked at him for a while more before I said, "You know this can't work, I was foolish in coming back. Goodbye, Itachi."

I took my bags again and walked out of the hotel calmly, smiling at the old man behind the desk and waving at a few people as I left the village. I was extremly glad that I had finished my mission the day before, so that I did have to sit around in an office while I finish my paper work, Once I was out of the town, I took off at full pace and I didn't stop. I didn't let myself think about Itachi, I kept my mind solely on which branch I would land on next, on not falling or tripping. I got home the next morning, just after sunrise and Konoha was just waking up, only a few villagers were around and a couple shinobi who looked like they'd been out drinking all night. No one seemed to notice me and I preferred it that way, I kept my face blank and my eyes on the Hokage tower.

I handed my mission scroll to the girl behind the desk, knowing the Hokage wouldn't be in and that she was probably passed out drunk some where. The sadness I'd been repressing was starting to come up, I tried to burry it again but it didn't work. By the time I got to my house I was crying, I felt so weak again and I hated it, I didn't want to cry over my choice, after all I'd chosen my friends and Konoha. I wondered if I would have cried if I had chosen Itachi instead but it didn't matter because I hadn't chosen him, I'd chosen Konoha and I wouldn't go back on my choice, again.

I picked up work in the hospital again and I buried myself in my work and sometimes I even managed to enjoy my work, saving lives and healing people is what I was meant to do. Naruto still saw that something was bothering me, I knew he knew it was the guy and I wondered if he'd figured out that my mission was really an excuse to see my secret love. He kept asking if I was ok and of course I told him I was just upset about the guy, he understood and didn't force any more answers out of me. I managed to keep up a happy facade when I was at work or with friends, Naruto was the only one who really saw how upset I was.

A few times he'd encouraged me to just follow my heart and go to who ever this guy was, that when he became Hokage he'd clear my name and allow me to stay with the guy who was the source of my heart break. I told him no, I'd made my choice to be here, in my village with my friends and the people who were my family. He persisted though, with his plan because everyone knew he'd be Hokage within the next few years but I was just as stubborn.

Slowly the pain of leaving some one I loved turned into a dull ache that was always with me but I learned to live with it. Ino insisted that I go on dates with guys she thought I'd like, I never went out with the same guy twice and all of the dates were double dates with Ino and shikamaru, in loud, crowded dance clubs were I could just lose myself in the music and forget about the pain for awhile. I went on missions but stayed away from the places I knew he hung around, I knew I could always run into him but I didn't think about that I only rarely took solo missions. A few times I thought I woke up to see red eyes in the trees or thought I heard someone in the tree's but it always turn out to be nothing.

Some nights I found myself going to the Hokage mountain and staring at the stars and eventually I forgot just how many more stars I could see out side of the village. I found I didn't miss what I couldn't remember so I spent my time working at the hospital, writing teaching scrolls, reading medical scrolls or dancing with Ino. One day I woke up and didn't insistently think of how empty the bed was or how his smell wasn't around me. It wasn't until I was in the shower that night that I realized I went a whole day without missing his smell and touch, part of me was upset that I was forgetting things like that but the smarter part of me knew it was for the best. The dull ache was still there, even though I was forgetting things about him, I still had that painful ache.

I still wondered what would have happened if I had stayed with him instead of coming here, would I have been happy? Would I have started to forget things about Konoha and Naruto?

It was almost a year after I'd returned home that I met a guy that I liked. It was nothing like the attraction I had felt for Itachi but I reminded myself that it had taken months for me to get that level of attraction for Itachi, that it hadn't just happened over night. Ino had introduced me to the guy, one of attempts to get me out of my house and to stop working. The guy wasn't a shinobi, he worked in the hospital as a civilian doctor, I'd met him a few times but never really paid him any attention but he was the first of Ino's little dates that I actually liked. He made me laugh and he was a decent dancer, he was also rather attractive. He had very short brown hair and green eyes, he was a few inches taller then I was and he lacked the muscles that shinobi had but he was in decent shape.

I never looked very far into my future with him, I knew I was using him to get rid of the ache I felt and it was working. I doubted that he was the guy I'd spend the rest of my life with but he was the man I was going to spend the next few months with. I think he understood he was being used but he didn't seem to care, he smiled with me, laughed with me and he kissed softly. We were happy and it showed because Naruto finally stopped questioning me, I never really forgot about Itachi or about the months I had spent with him. Some times I still thought of him, of the nights spent with him and the way he use to look at me. But the way my new man looked at me, with open love and kindness was also amazing, of course it wasn't the same as that smoldering look that I would probably always remember but it was the same and better in different ways.

I saw Itachi again, when I was on my way back from a mission, I wasn't alone but when I felt his presences advancing towards us I halted our progress and instructed the two shinobi with me to set up camp. They listed as I was in charge and while they were doing that, I went to meet Itachi who had stopped a few miles away from where they were setting up camp, I left under the impression of going to bathe so the two men I was traveling with wouldn't come to look for me. But once I was out of viewing distance of my companions, I stopped. I was still to close to them for Itachi to come to me but I stopped, what would happened if I went to see him? What if I lost control of myself, I didn't want to do anything with him that would hurt the man who was currently taking care of me, who loved me and who I found myself caring for.

Part of me wanted to see him but a larger and smarter part didn't want to. I stood, thinking about what would happen if I did go and see him, would that just bring all the old hurt back to the surface or would seeing him finally make me leave everything for him. I tried to think of something good that would come from seeing him, anything good, even if it was small but I couldn't. I could only come up with bad things like doing something I'd regret or wanting him so badly but knowing I couldn't have him. I was finally getting over him, I was starting to enjoy my life at home and I didn't want to risk messing everything up or setting myself back months of recovery by seeing him.

I wanted to see him so badly though, I wanted to touch him and kiss him, my mind was reminding me of all those nights together and of his touches and of my longing for him. I could sense his chakra, it would only take a few minutes for me to reach him and I knew that the second I saw him I'd probably through myself at him and I would probably spend the next few hours with him and the next few months mourning losing him again. Slowly, the wanting him was surpassing the smart part of my mind and I found myself taking slow steps towards him but I stoped before I'd made it more then twenty steps, I knew that I'd see him again but I couldn't right now. If I saw him know, I'd never come home, I might spend the frist few days regreting running away with him but after a month or two I wouldn't regret anything besides leaving him in the first place. I knew that like I knew the sky was blue but I knew that I couldn't leave without a word to my friends and that one day, maybe soon, I'd would leave my village to be with him but I couldn't just leave.

My mind was made up, I turned around and went back to my team, they gave me odd looks, wondering why I hadn't bathed but they didn't question me. His presence stayed a few miles away for a few more minutes before I felt him retreating. I didn't regret him leaving or my choice and I knew with a certainity that I'd see him again and that when I did, I probably wouldn't leave. 


End file.
